Biz Markie - A Thing Named Kim lyrics

One two, one two The Diabolical's back again With the Cutmaster Cool V At the boards my man Paul Sea But this goes out to my man Danny Dan The beat man that makes you understand He want me to tell somethin bout this girl named Kim I'ma do it like this (Verse One) Well it was one of those days when nothing's right with the world I was half broke, bored, and fed up with my girl Lookin for somethin to do but wonderin how long It would take for the next thing to go wrong So I decided to hang, go out and ease my mind I told myself you would never know what you might find I took a hot bubble bath, instead of a shower Got rid of "The Dragon," it took me a hour Decided on a sweatsuit, Gucci red and white Some rings and some ropes, and then I'm on for the night The Gucci sneakers some cologne, I think Aramis I look in the mirror and said, "Biz you look - marvelous!" I jetted out the door, and hailed a taxi And said "54 in a hurry," and jumped in the backseat We arrived he said, "$8.50 and that don't count my tip" I said, "Don't drink and drive - GIMME MY CHANGE before I bust ya lip!" The club was jumpin and word is bond I saw girls walkin around with jeans painted on Splittin they skirts up the middle, tight leather and lace Both me and Jimmy agree, we're gonna like this place Took a seat at the bar, the girl said what are ya drinkin? A Coke and a smile child, and slid her a Lincoln Took a sip of my four dollars, she looked at me strange I said, "Psych I bet you thought you was gonna keep the change" I made my way through the crowd, it was plain to see Same everywhere I go, all eyes on me I sat down at the table, and one of the staff said, "Ain't you the Biz" I said, "Yeah but no autographs" I sat alone in the corner, and sipped my drink Happened to look across the room and somebody winked I did the only thing the Diabolical could do Looked down to see what that I was attached to Sure enough it was a girl, a sweet female Her hair and eyes sparkled like ginger ale I looked lower to her lips, her chin and her neck And fantasized about the rest, then decided to check I sent champagne to her table, the waiter asked her name He returned with Kim, and I almost came I checked myself and made sure, I looked alright And told my dick, "Don't worry - we're f**in tonight!" Threw her the Kool-Aid smile, and a dash of charm I stepped to the lady and tapped her arm But when she turned around, my smile turned to gloom She didn't look none like she looked across the room She had big broad shoulders and her titties was big They were filled with silicone, and her hair was a wig She had more makeup than Boy George and Phyllis Diller Ugly enough to be a monster in "Thriller" Had hair on her chest longer than King Spade Even though I got a band, I don't need the AIDS So I hurried out and left, she said, "Please stay" I said, "Sorry money grip, I don't go that way" So I stepped out in a hurry, to gather my wits And thought that's a damn shame, he had nice tits And that's the last I ever saw of Kim You wanna know why? Cause she's a he and her's a him Like that and-a, like that and-a I'm not the man called Dantana You go on and on and on and on and on and on and on Don't go to Getty, go to Exxon.. (echoe) (Biz Markie shout outs and ad libs)