Bird & McDonald - Dirtiest Song in the World lyrics

There was an old farmer who lived by a rock, He sat in the meadow a-shaking his fist, At some boys who were down by the crick (creek), Their feet in the water, their hands on their marbles And playthings, and in days of yore There came a young lady she looked like a Pretty young creature. She sat on the gra** She pulled up her dresses and showed us her Ruffles and laces and white fluffy duck. She said she was learning a new way to Bring up her children and learn them to knit While the boys in the barnyard where shovelling Refuse and litter from yesterdays hunt, While the girl in the meadow was rubbing her Eyes at the fellows as girls somtimes do, To make it quite clear that she wanted to Go for a nice pleasent stroll on the gra**, Then hurry back home for a nice peice of Icecream and cake that stood three layers tall, And after dessert she was ready to Go for another walk down by the dock, With any young man with a sizeable Roll of one hundreds and a big bulge up front, If he asked politely she would show him her Little pet dog who was subject to fits, And maybe she'd let him grab hold of her Small tenders hands with movement so quick, Then she'd lean on over and s** on his Soda so sweetly till she finished it, Then pull down her panties to rub on her Hip, which she brused when she ran down the halls, 'Cause he tried to force her to s** on his Candy so tasty made of bu*terscotch, And then he spread whipped cream All over her cookies she had been baking all night, If you think this is dirty you're f***ing well right.