Bill Pekar - The Drunk Driver Song lyrics

He was headed down the Highway 95 just 'bout on his last beer When he pulled into Marty's for one more round That's the way his old pickup steered Well that old Shiner clock above the cooler Lit up the beers on ice And all the regulars, they were buying rounds You know they're adding to his vice Five after seven turned to ten before nine I'm not talking about the time When he felt that old tranny slip into drive Once again, headed down 95 Well he didn't get far, just down the road When a light show caught him from behind Well he was driving pretty good at 35 But he was on the wrong side of the line Please Mr Occifer don't take me away tonight All I need is my warm bed, not a cold cell floor all night Well I promise I'll never drink again You know it happens all the time So please Mr Occifer, I can't walk that crooked line Well he had some time to think about The seriousness of his crime Before the man put him back in that black and white Without wasting any time All the money it could cost him Could buy himself a brand new Jag Five years probation, community service Not to mention how his wife would nag Now would he give thanks to the Lord For saving his life this time Or would a big old guy in a Stone Cold T-shirt Say, "Tonight you're gonna be mine" Well the Mothers Against Drunk Drivers Won't make him that poster child this year And I wonder how long 'til he's down at Marty's You know he gave up drinking beer Please Mr Occifer don't take me away tonight All I need is my warm bed, not a cold cell floor all night Well I promise I'll never drink again You know it happens all the time So please Mr Occifer, I can't walk that crooked line So please Mr Occifer, I don't know my CBA's tonight I said, please Mr Occifer Please get that flashlight out of my eyes