Bif Naked - Alcoholor Comedy lyrics

My life was comedy. quitting drinking was the easiest thing i've ever done. i have never looked back. i simply cannot understand why the hell i waited so long! unmanageable life--what an emb Sment! what a weakness. what an ultimate lack of self-discipline. what a loser. my parents never drank or smoked, and i put them through hell. my poor parents. i was such an ungrateful, Spectful, selfish, hormonal little teenager with a mouthy attitude and sense of humour quite unlike my sister's. i decided i didn't need to continue attending church with my parents. i was Hing for my "individuality". what an idiot. I wanted attention. i wanted everyone to think i was funny. i wanted everyone to like me. i, i hated myself. i was called bug eyes. i was called fish lips. and, i was called modern dair The grade 9 girls hated me. they hara**ed me and beat me up. i wonder if they're living exciting, fulfilling loving lives. i wonder if they're happy and healthy. me and my best friend kar Ad every line of every eddie murphy movie down. "goonay goo goo" "you can smell it" "i'm a karate man." "karate man bruise on inside. just don't show othe we S." "banana in the tailpipe." "babulay babulay bahaha. babulay babulay ba ha." you name it. i wanted to be eddie murphy. Or, or robin williams. i wanted to be them. i still am enraptured with comedians. they must always be carefree and laughing and playing jokes and having fun. except for maybe richard lewis. Lways says he can't get a date. betcha he can. betcha he's really ticklish, like me. tickled with life, tickled pink. pink laaadies. black russians. iron bu*terflies. Quitting drinking was the easiest thing i've ever done. Quitting my comedic dreams was hard. i can never look back on either.