Bent Shapes - 86'd In '03 lyrics

It's been years now, and I'm calling off the search for myself. I think I'm comfortable with "uneasy". Is there something that could teach me? I've heard perspective comes in handy, but I'm not so sure from where I'm standing. 'Cause I'm still sick with pa**ions and inaction, experiments in loss studied and practiced. Self-aware, but not too cool to care. I feel ill trading toxins for talking and wrestling with doubt, well, it's all about shadowboxing, So don't come a-knocking this boy is up rocking, arms around his knees on a bare mattress/boxspring, rode home too high shouting "I Hate Myself and I Wanna Die."