Beefy - 2 Fingers & A Tear lyrics

Yeah, this song is called "2 Fingers & A Tear". Basically I'm an idiot. I'm whiny, and I'm emo, and I wrote this a little while back, and I'm an idiot for recording it. Basically this song should be called "This Is A Mistake" Yo, so I don't know why I'm feeling what I'm feeling. I just think you need to know so I am writing it down. I can't say it to your face or chat about it in the IM, Just a chicken sh** I guess who can just say it with sound. So breaking it down, basically since that night in the car, When you told me the truth and I know that it was hard, All I felt was f**in' hollow and empty like nothing was in me, I guess until this moment it just never really hit me. Guess I never realized I was chasin' a ghost, But sir I love her the most, 'cause she puts lumps in my throat. But I don't know what to do about the fantasy, She's so high up on my pedestal I'm calling her "Your Majesty", Tonight I sit to write but you come out of my pen, And it wasn't 'til this evening that my tear drops were shed, It just hit me like a ton of bricks, man I'm feeling sick. Yo get me to emergency and make it f**in' quick, Ao maybe I can get some pills to help with the stress. I feel like everyone is blessed but Beefy's life is a mess. I start to think what would happen if you never ever said That you feel for me what I feel for you, because it's not true, But frankly maybe you never knew All of the lengths that I would travel just to be with you, I only pray that you didn't do this just to be mean, Because in my mind I know you know that you are my flawless queen, Just because I can't get with you doesn't mean I don't wanna, Only way I can escape is when I smoke this marijuana, I thank the Lord I met you because without you I'm a goner, But I wish it never started with a crush, You're too damn much For the virgin bringer Beefy, No one ever liked me, let alone loved me, Now I have to deal with the fear of maybe dying all alone, 'Cause it took 21 years for this to happen on it's own, End of the day, you always had yourself a backup, Sadly only have my solitary when I f** up, And at this point I don't know what I'm trying to say, When I get heated I write lyrics. This is how I escape, Guess this happens when you steal the f**in' heart of a who*e, 'Cause I can't get enough attention, I'm always begging for more, I wish I could just go with the flow, but I won't, 'Cause I can't stop thinking about what he has that I don't, I don't want to make you a possession I just wanna be first, The guy you love the most and maybe got my picture in your purse, But now my bubbles about to burst, and I'm just makin' in worse 'Cause I'm talkin' to much again, I'm makin' you Feel so bad again, even though that's never my plan, And I can't believe what a f**ed up year it's been, I'm just waitin' for my real life to begin, So if what we do isn't special how can you still say love? Do you mean it when you say it or you know I wanna hear it, Hard to focus so hard on something that you'll never get, But ever single time I talk to you it's like I forget Until you leave it lingers, and it stabs me in the heart, Wishing I was honest with you just before you depart, But I never want to end this cherade, it's not a game But knowing that I can't help but wanna win Your business is sin, I think of all the places that I've never been, Wanna through this whole song in the recycling bin, And I know that you know that this is just a cry for help, 'Cause I'm a noobie and a rookie with these feelings never felt, Never feel 'em again yo, it's not the same yo, 'Cause this sh** is too f**in' painful and I don't know What to do or how to end it, 'Cause everytime I think about the future I keep seeing you in it, 'Cause I'm a double edged sword, 'cause I will love you with the quickest, But I'll never want to let go, but you gotta tell me No, yeah I'm sorry but you gotta be mean, 'Cause I'm an addict and a junkie and you're all that I need, Never thought that this would be me, The whiny rapper spillin' guts just to get over this, Yo send me off with a peace, Two fingers in the air with a tear, Until the day it can be me I'll be standing right here