Beautiful Eulogy - Bored Of Education lyrics

[Verse 1] Dear Bored of Education So are we, huh, so are we At no point in the lives that we actually live do we sit in rows and listen to pontifications At no point did momma pa** written exams out on how to wash the dishes, no She pulled the stool up next to her, at the sink, handed us a dishrag, like "Watch how mommy does it, now you try." Learning by doing, such a crazy idea, it might work Them stools felt like a magical ladders into an alternate universe Into the grown-up world Informational portholes, wormholes, into other places Where kids were equals, being made privy to information only those with Driver's licenses and facial hair had Who knew we were learning, no clue Pops was teaching us time management And budgeting, miniature project co-ordinators He said, "Imma show you how to do these chores. And if they're done when I get home Then that allowance is yours. Maybe some ice cream's involved too." Remember when we were in kindergarten, and you had to learn about worms, yeah, you went outside And you played with worms, what a novel idea! Dear Bored of Education!, huh, so are we [Verse 2] Dear Bored of Education, all I've learned from your system is the fact that it's just the system That you set up. And if I just repeat what you just said, in Jane Schaffer method Then I pa**ed, right? You're just testing my ability to regurgitate And if your best instructors are miserable, I'm pretty sure it's not the kids' fault This pain I know first hand, the grand learning moments, the innovative lesson plans That causes eyes to sparkle as if them students have just caught rides on shooting stars These lessons have wings, only to get clipped, to fit, into the Low-Res JPEG. you call "The State Standards." Why do you insist this is still the industrial age? My child is not a widget. And a school should not be an a**embly line. Making my daughter's Diploma equivalent to an inspected by 2235 stamp Dear Bored of Education, so are we [Verse 3] Dear Bored of Education, there's not a Scantron on the planet that can measure inspiration This is what our teachers pa** on that matters But you'd rather them do a jig to the tune of an AYP score As to avoid losing WASC right? NCLB got us shockin' and jivin', but you can't measure a kid inviting their Teacher to a Quincenera or a soccer game, or waiting rooms at free clinics I can name ten kids off hand who would still be in handcuffs if it wasn't for Mr. Singer Nick Luvanno runs his own design firm. And he failed the exit exams twice. FAILED Dear Board of Education, I mean, can we not Google when the Magna Carta was signed? If your brightest stars are always dim, something must be wrong with your gla**es If every place on your body that you touch hurts, then your fingers must be broken You are PhD.'s, you have five suffixes at the end of your names, you're the people that know A lot, how come you're not smart enough to know that you don't know what you don't know? Did anyone ever suggest, that maybe, we should test the test? Dear Bored of Education, my dear Bored of Education, so are we So are we