Bayonet - Nightmare lyrics

Is this oppression or obsession With a life that I can't come to terms with Is this karma or is it payback All from some unknown resentment Cause I just want to know myself Oh I just want to love myself Like an addict to a vein I want something to Blind me from the emptiness and pain So what's the point to all this mess? Want a face worth shaving Want a soul worth saving I keep an arms length Distance from my lovers cause my father You know what he made me I'll never be set free And can you really tell me that You know the person you lie in bed with All their secrets when they feel pathetic And it's our hope to feel that close I try and I try and I try and I try and I don't! Everybody wants to believe That their life is really filled with meaning When will I be free I wish I could, wish I could say everything That I feel without judging Who I was in my eyes Cause then I just might disguise Speak with honesty, set my own heart free Just like I said before Is it worth even keeping score Cause everything that I ever did was a miss I really wish that I was better than this I still want something that I probably won't get It doesn't matter who you are at the start It matters who you are when everything falls apart I live my life like I'm going to hell So when I get there I won't feel like I failed From heights, through the lights At least I'll know what just hit me A simple point, a simple fact That I can't take my words with me