Bart Baker - Wildest Dreams Parody lyrics

[Taylor:] My ex-boyfriends all hate me now They think I was crazy and dicked them around. I can't stand that they think about me as a bad girlfriend. So guess I gotta take them out! How dare they all dump Taylor Swift and not remember me as perfect! They must pay the price, and I won't rest until they all are dead! Hey John remember me? [John Mayer:] Sure Taylor we dated before I met Katy. [Taylor:] Since our break up made me scream, I'll return the favor Go to hell John Mayer! That's right, scream! [John Mayer:] Aaah! Aaah! [Taylor:] Rest in Peace! Haa! Haaaaah! I invited Joe Jonas to my tent. Yea, I used to date him Back when he still had hits. [Joe Jonas:] It's not my fault my career went to sh**. God, I hate my brother. [Taylor:] Well, he's the one with talent! [Joe Jonas:] Why would you say something so cruel? No please stop! What the hell did I do? [Taylor:] You broke up with me over the phone and left me all alone. Now I am on a plane Soon I will be k**in' one more ex Jake Gyllenhaal. [Jake Gyllenhaal:] What are you doing Tay? [Taylor:] I'm hitting this bu*ton! Now I'm going to jump. It's my Wildest Dream! [Jake Gyllenhaal:] No No Noooo! [Taylor:] That was three. Two to go. [Harry Styles:] Taylor? [Taylor:] Hello Harry. I've come to say Bye Bye cause you're about to die. [Harry Styles:] What? I'm just going to space. [Taylor:] There's been a change of plans cause I'm k**ing exes in my Wildest Dreams. Aaah. Aaaaah. [Calvin Harris:] What are you doing Taylor love? [Taylor:] I know eventually you will dump me! [Calvin Harris:] What no! Oooow! [Taylor:] So I might as well k** you now. Haaa! Haaaaaa! Die! Die Calvin! Haaa! You won't dump me Calvin! Not this time! Haaa Haaa! [Calvin Harris:] Taylor! Taylor! You okay? You were saying some strange things while sleeping. [Taylor:] I was just having a wild dream. [Calvin Harris:] I could tell. [Taylor:] Go back to sleep. Everything's fine. Goodnight sweetheart. Sleep tight. Don't let the bedbugs bite. Hee Hee.