[Nicki Minaj:] Yo B You ready to make a video that no one will ever see because your man won't put it on YouTube? [Beyoncé:] This video looks like a bunch of bad home movies Can you believe I'm the same person who once made Single Ladies? That vid had cla**, this vid is just a** Thanks to Jay-Z This keyboard loop sounds like it was made by a baby [Nicki Minaj:] This video's not posted on YouTube If you wanna see you have to log on to Tidal and subscribe too, How come we still at zero views?! [Jay-Z:] If fans will not pay for music I'll force them to do it By making this vid an exclusive [Nicki Minaj:] Dammit Jay-Z, are you that stupid? Who would pay twenty bucks Just to see me shake my fake bu*t? I do that in every vid, who gives a f**? Dude, your plan s**s [Jay-Z:] Maybe, but it's just not fair That music is stolen and file shared I just don't understand why the fans don't care About us poor pop star millionaires [YouTube:] Jay-Z why do you hate us so much? [Jay-Z:] You're my rivals! [Spotify:] But no one wants your sh**ty service [Jay-Z:] Don't you dare insult Tidal! [YouTube:] We are both free [Spotify:] You only have a month free trail [YouTube:] You're overpriced [Spotify:] Plus who the hell wants uncompressed files? [Beyoncé:] We're in a kiddy pool in this scene But no one knows that 'cause no one has seen this video No one's gonna pay twenty bucks for a video Jay-Z, Tidal s**s [Nicki Minaj:] This song is weak It's not unique It's just another song 'bout how I'm a s** freak It's clear that the title refers to masturbation That's why I do this move, meant to be simulation All my lyrics are the same I just about getting laid And have some guys say I take big dick well for having such a small frame That drives my male fans insane That includes Drake and Lil Wayne That's why after they watch my vids in their boxers there's a wet stain (ew) [Some guy:] We've got bad news Tidal is bankrupt Kiss it bye-bye [Jay-Z:] How can that be? I pushed it so hard [Some guy:] I'm sorry Jay-Z, nice try [Jay-Z:] I feel so bad I lost all my cash I'm gonna cry I just need to see the one I love My dear sweet wife