Pardon me miss, but I've never done this With a real live girl What could be harmful in holding an armful Of real live girl? Pardon me if your affectionate squeeze Fogs up my goggles and buckles my knees I'm simply drowned in the sound And the sight and the scent And the feel of a real live girl Nothing can beat getting swept off your feet By a real live girl Dreams in your bunk don't compare with a hunk Of a real live girl. Girls were too girlish was once my belief What a reversal and what a relief! I'll take the flowering hat and the towering heel And the squeal of a real live girl. I've seen photographs and facsimiles That have set my heart off in a whirl But I'd overlook everyone in the book For a real live girl Take your Venetian or Roman or Grecian Ideal live girl. Go be a holdout for Helen of Troy. I am a healthy American boy, And I'd rather gape at the dear Little shape of the stern And the keel of a real live, Full-time vocational, all-operational girl