Baba Brinkman - Short-Term Mating Dance lyrics

Assembling in these dense colonies Provides the social stimulation That is the key to coordinating their breeding Tonight's documentary presentation Will explore the short-term mating behaviour Of one of the most remarkable creatures in all creation The h*mo sapien h*mo sapiens, also known as "humans" Generally mate in pairs, creating the illusion Of a monogamous constitution But the truth is slightly more elusive As is often the case as evolution advances The preferred strategy depends on circumstances And scientists, seeking answers Look to these elaborate courtship dances Males and females congregate In large colonies to display their traits They often fail to find long-term mates But so much flesh will not go to waste And it's now that the advantages Of breeding in such dense colonies become clear We've got a short-term mating dance Up in here, up in here, up in here They've come to breed We've got a short-term mating dance Up in here, up in here, up in here Note the s**ual dimorphism The enlarged male form is invariably caused By competition for female attention Charles Darwin called this "s**ual selection" But the females also compete For male parental investment For this species, like no other Has a grotesquely prolonged adolescence Given this fact of developmental anatomy Some have questioned whether a naturally- Selected short-term female mating strategy Could even exist, but in fact, it's mathematically Certain, for, every short-term copulation That results in conception requires the participation Of one male and one female, hence There must be a mutual inclination And it's now that the advantages Of breeding in such dense colonies become clear We've got a short-term mating dance Up in here, up in here, up in here Females can make their choice from many males While successful males can have access To lots of females One theory is short-term mating For long-term gain, females may appraise The quality of mates from a single liaison To decide whether to allow them to stay on Concealed ovulation allows frequent mating With little fear of conception And keeps males guessing – those who excel In dominance competitions enjoy short-term preference Which suggests that it's all about the father's genetics The best ones for feathering the nest And providing temporary protection, may not be The best ones for siring s**y sons But of course, this can be dangerous The scientific study of h*mo sapiens Is rather recent, so we can only speculate On the reasons for much of their extraordinary behaviour And it's now that the advantages Of breeding in such dense colonies become clear We've got a short-term mating dance Up in here, up in here, up in here They've come to breed We've got a short-term mating dance Up in here, up in here, up in here They've come to breed We've got a short-term mating dance Up in here, up in here, up in here They've come to breed After a few days, this gigantic spawning Comes to an end