Baba Brinkman - No Bugs On Me lyrics

Now the monkey swings by the end of his tail As he flies from tree to tree Well there may be monkey in some of you guys But there ain't no monkey in me And there ain't no bugs on me There ain't no bugs on me There may be bugs on some of you mugs But there ain't no bugs on me Yeah, there ain't no bugs on me Just on you liberal freaks… Who says science and religion will never harmonize? When science explains religion then we'll have a compromise But not the specific magical claims I'm talkin' about the relevant psychological states Like, for instance, why is Darwinism such a toxic Proposition for conservative religions But not for liberal religions like Episcopalianism See, it's not the religion, it's the conservatism So what's the difference between conservatives and liberals? Moral psychologists have a definition that's simple Liberals like myself are just higher in a stable Personality trait known as 'openness to experience' We think novelty's great – new people, new places, New types of food, new lovers whenever someone Inspires the mood, and it might seem like this life is a dream But novelty is the place where parasites breed Which gives us a delicious little testable prediction For the scientific method to consider Namely that openness to experience and liberalism Should be influenced by micro-organisms In your environment, and does the evidence agree? Man, you wouldn't believe how much your political leanings Can be predicted by the local threat of infectious disease So all my social conservatives sing! There ain't no bugs on me There ain't no bugs on me There may be bugs on some of you mugs But there ain't no bugs on me So let's celebrate every universal of humanness Like the fact that xenophobia is an immune defense Where the brain gets a signal from the lymphatic system That says: "Be afraid of anything that's dramatically different" And fundamentalism is the same kinda fear Dangerous bugs, dangerous people, and Darwin's dangerous idea But it's not about intellect – well, if you wanna get picky Openness correlates with intelligence moderately But I have creationist cousins, and they're as smart as whips And they think I'm retarded for being a Darwinist And maybe I am retarded, maybe my liberalism Is like a form of autism, like my brain is disconnected From traditional ethics, 'cause I'm always disrespecting Apparently arbitrary religious messages Like when a devout j** or m**m says the blood of a menstruating Woman is unclean, what the hell does that mean? Is it somehow different than if she cuts her finger when she's cookin' And bleeds? How is it immoral if it doesn't hurt someone? I just don't get it, to me blood is blood And ladies, I'm down to prove it when it's time to cut a rug If you're bleeding and horny, just give me a warning and we'll Put a towel down to save the sheets and go 'til three in the morning Ugh, no wonder conservatives hate godless liberals So all my Tory brethren sing along, and it goes… There ain't no bugs on me There ain't no bugs on me There may be bugs on some of you mugs But there ain't no bugs on me Yeah, the modern liberal is a recent mutant A novelty-seeking novelty of evolution But don't you start feelin' too much like the X-Men 'Cause I can test your openness with targeted questions Like for instance – imagine your family dog dies And you all decide to memorialize the poor old guy By eating him stir-fried, are you on the wrong side Of the moral equation, and if not one is harmed, why? As a committed liberal I can see both sides But everyone has a bit of a conservative bias 'Cause those who don't get naturally deselected Like for instance, pregnant women are measurably More xenophobic in their first trimester 'Cause the fetus gives them an immuno-compromised system So next time you listen to Nick Griffin or Glenn Beck And you get vexed, like "f** this little hate-monger insect!" Just think of it as an immune system imbalance Like a pregnant woman who pukes every time she eats salads And if you wanna see the end of oppression in Palestine Or h*mophobia in Uganda, or female genital mutilation In the Sudan, well then maybe the answer Is water sanitation and a vaccination agenda So let's all just sing along to the words of wisdom It's the germ theory of conservatism There ain't no bugs on me There ain't no bugs on me There may be bugs on some of you mugs But there ain't no bugs on me