Baba Brinkman - Dr. Tatiana lyrics

It's all about s** Evolution… It's all about s** Some people say my obsession with biodiversity Is a sign of perversity, but I find that it nurtures me Maybe it's twisted, but I won't give a lady a minute Unless she's a Batesian mimic, does that make me a cynic? I'm into animal role-play, but f** a barnyard I want some praying mantis open-mandible cannibal foreplay So read Dr. Tatiana if you need the basics She's deeper than the fuzzies you find creepin' on craigslist Plus she's got a message board, full of insectivores Who are just itchin' for it – she's like a s** thesaurus I met a crab spider who was keen on finding a mate Her turn-ons included binding and trying to escape I met a gold-digger who told me fame was her weakness So I paid her like a co*kroach, with an*l secretions Yeah, I'm nasty as I wanna be, jerkin' off in front of females Like juvenile marine iguanas on the beach ‘Cause I'm packin' a eight-inch corkscrew, I'm a great f** I wanna spin it in like an Argentinian lake duck Yeah, when natural selection reckons your s** practice The best action is always found in the mismatches Let's make love like animals I think you know what I'm talkin' about Let's make love exactly like other animals Get your zoology textbook out This one girl was quite freakish, I wasn't squeamish But we simply couldn't fit it in - we tried to squeeze it But she had a six-inch long cli*oris like a hyena's And I had a spiky inflatable damselfly penis Ah, skip the spider's kiss of d**h Just give me ten consecutive weeks of s** like stick insects I make solid s**m plugs to try to block girls But I hate when they pull it out and eat it like fox squirrels Those are precious resources, I'm really concerned Humans only bust a couple of hundred million s**m So we start to get depleted after the third shag Octopus have ten billion in a ma**ive s**m bag And they die when they deposit it, that's just one way Nature might try to persuade a guy to stay monogamous But we must have missed something compared to our chimp cousins ‘Cause those chicks'll hit a dozen different studs and just love it So I feel like I'm overdressed for bonobo s** All I need is a swollen vulva and a vocal “Yes!” No? Okay, instead I'll marry my soul-mate ‘Til d**h do us part, the prairie vole way Let's make love like animals It's been happening since the stone age Let's make love exactly like other animals Open up that wikipedia page Let's make love like angler fish It's kind of complicated but it's worth it You use your highly developed olfactory sense To swim towards me for several days And then you bite me And that releases an enzyme That dissolves your face and your bones and your fins Leaving only a pair of genitals attached To the side of my body For me to use when it's convenient