Baba Brinkman - Sexual Selection Theory (Live) lyrics

I'm co*ky and single and I got your genes tingling Girl, with my costly signaling Rockin' the rhythm and all you keep thinkin' about Is the offspring we'll bring into the world And you're awfully tempting, so you got my genes tingling Too, with your costly signaling You're cute, but you gotta be considerate And have a sense of humour, or you will not be interesting Charles Darwin saw natural selection as the most serious cause Of evolution, but what was going on with bird songs And peaco*ks? They follow mysterious laws And then Darwin had a curious thought It probably occurred to him while explaining his theory To a young Victorian blond, whose face displayed A mixture of desire and feverish awe The immediate cause of which Darwin clearly saw So he said: “My dear, descent with modification comes from The struggle for survival and reproduction Hence, the reason for some structures must be seduction” In fact, Darwin's brain was probably one such structure Just as peaco*ks' tails show off the genes of the top males And likewise the songs of nightingales, the fighting sk**s Of elephant seals, and minnows with colourful scales These are all traits that s**ual selection has shaped Through the female preference to get with the fittest mates But in human beings that selection goes both ways Pretty much anything that's just for display And isn't meant dissuade or chase predators away Was probably selected for in a s**ual way… But wait, isn't this just such a display? I mean, I really thought I had something to say But, is it just a demonstration of my DNA? And, so what if it is? Great, what's to explain? Okay, maybe a couple of things First, to say that something ornate Like complex language, first evolved as a seductive display Doesn't mean that people only use it just to get laid Darwin leaves Freud in the dustbin, okay? For instance, I could use a urine stream to put out a fire But that doesn't mean the penis evolved as bush fire fighter This is a theory of language function A theory of where it comes from; what it's used for now Is a separate discussion; so which was it? Was language originally a mechanism for survival or reproduction? Can you talk a predator out of attacking? Can you talk a parasite out of infecting? Can you talk a potential mate in to consenting? Potentially, right? Hence, presenting The grand unified theory of rhyme The mating mind uses lyrical signs, combined with wit And wordplay, conversation, humour and different narrative styles To appraise the fitness of mates, both for the purpose of marriage ties And for mates of the more temporary kind These are the humble roots of the literary sublime We're all just Shakespearean primates verbalizing our cherry behinds But how could we test this theory of mine? Ideally, we could use experimental holding zoos Filled with human subjects, and with an overhead view We could observe which breeding pairs reproduce And how often they use their verbal ornaments to seduce We could even separate them into control groups To see whether male or female vocals Are more prone to be used to stimulate hormones Although, it's true that this sort of method isn't normally approved If only there existed in a state of nature Some cultural group preoccupied with makin' paper And parading naked women shakin' their money makers In front of competitive males displaying mating behaviour While trading their creativity for s**ual favours If such a group existed, I predict it would be a major Player in the entertainment industry, and would be in major Danger of being overwhelmed by angry player haters But I may have to save some of my research for later And how do I answer the charge that I'm participating In this mating dance myself with these dazzling bars? That isn't hard – I plead guilty I worked hard to achieve this ability And if it also gives my genes visibility then so be it But, I confess, it also reveals my unique disability See, my tendency to tell these monkey fables And funny medieval tales, generally fails To attract any nubile young females It does attract women a lot though All highly-educated and post-menopausal! I know, isn't it awful? I get mobbed after my Chaucer shows By grandmas thanking me for making it possible For them to appreciate a hip-hop flow And, you might ask, where are their granddaughters? My guess is, they're at gangster rap concerts But that's how s**ual selection works Any mutation gets tested first And if it doesn't get spread, then it gets purged So this experimental hip-hop mix Where it gets crossed with literature and lectures Will probably get the burial that it deserves That is, unless you spread it like whispers I'm co*ky and single and I got your genes tingling Girl, with my costly signaling Rockin' the rhythm and all you keep thinkin' about Is the offspring we'll bring into the world And you're awfully tempting, so you got my genes tingling Too, with your costly signaling You're cute, but you gotta be considerate And have a sense of humour, or you will not be interesting