At Swim Two Birds - Giggling Fits lyrics

One day I'll shave every morning There won't be a bristle to tickle your chin And I promise I won't call you 'clumsy' or anything I'll smile when you tell me it's funny (I'll) bend double and join you in giggling fits I won't snarl when you ask to lend money And I'll stop saying you've got childbearing hips Give you food whenever you're craving I promise never to shout 'pig, pig, pig, pig' Never mention the names of past girlfriends I'm over them now, for the time being I think Won't fake tired when your joints need a rub-down I'll help you through all those terrible things That I know I've always hurt you (you've said so) But I'll not an*lyze you And I'll never criticize you again And I'll stand up and leave if you ask so Put my foot in my mouth and the other one too Just to stop me from shouting 'you're dying If you don't put that dot cotton f*g out right now!' Join the Bogart Fan Club tomorrow Swear allegiance to Philip, Lawrence and mum Speak up when I come around on Sundays And cut out the kissing and everything Rock rosie to sleep in the evening And drive you wherever the hell we end up Hold your hand when your hand needs to be held And take everything the wrong way When you tell me everything is okay