Apollo Brown - Understanding lyrics

[Verse 1] I got the call that I was waiting on Hadn't been rhyming long But I had a couple songs I had been flailing Maybe more like just a failure to commit fully Scared of what it could be I was shook, couldn't look the other way though Ain't wanna look back and say I should've, could've would've But I couldn't get out the way Thought about the friendships, platonic Intimate, all been suffering since I started this music sh** Everybody love you till you can't do what they want you to Thought about them fellas who turn out to be possessive More than that, they was jealous Trying to stop me from excelling The fam had always asks, "What you doing?" Then they act like they do not understand What it means when I say that I MC I ain't hosting parties Damn homie work with me I've been writing poetry since I was fourteen That sh** was the only thing to ever keep my hungry I never used to rhyme though, I thought I sounded corny Till I started chilling with the homies and they showed me Jumping in the cipher, I was whack at first Took some work then I started rhyming everywhere Folks hate it, I ain't care My home girl Alana taught me how to keep my mind sharper When other folks wouldn't be bothered I decided I could be a dope MC Just had to change the scenery Gon' do me comfortably Couldn't rest on co-signs this here is me and my rhymes This is the life I chose, Lord knows the sh** is fickle But long as I got two nickels I'mma move I'mma prove I can do it for myself Can't rely on no one else And I am built for it, solid to the core Just need you to listen, nothing less and nothing more Yeah I'm built for it, solid to the core Just need you to listen, nothing less and nothing more [Hook] (x2) And I don't need a dime cause in time it'll all come All I really want is a bit of your attention Show you where I'm at, let you know just where I'm coming from I just really want the understanding [Verse 2] And you ain't even got to understand that I rather you felt it Like I struck a nerve you done dealt with Defecate all on a track and you can smell the sh** It's a visual that you can bite your nails for Gut retching, heart clenching, black fisted march with me Ride with me, side with me, see the brighter side of things Turn it 180 degrees, it's your reality I wanna capture the mental I provide the stencil And you can feel the spaces you fit in to Free enough to imagine and change your understanding So you'll really honor what I'm asking Really all I'm giving is a canvas Big enough for all of our ideas to branch off all strong All on [?] for more that's what I do it for Keep the riches for now, I tough it out with a smile Mama raised a soldier so I keep it pushing on Somebody gotta feel me, this ain't just a song This is what I'm on, every hour, every minute Every line, every sentence Sit here to solicit the feeling, I only hope you get it Hope you're open to it I hope you're down to use it, I pray to God you use it I pray to God you use it, I hope you're open to it I hope you down to use it, I pray to God you use it [Hook] [Outro] And you ain't even got to understand that