Apollo Brown - R.A.Y. lyrics

Instrumental: The Center Of Attraction by Ghostface k**ah & Apollo Brown [First Verse] At my desk reflecting on family d**h and I don't know why As a whole their slow decline just gets me stressed and vexed It holds my mind in chains and check so I notice time Just pa** me by then park its ride at the farthest side of the car park Life just gets me on the darkest night can't sleep feel uneasy Laying in bed feeling half-alive relay each step of the way I went When my granddad, sister, and auntie died (auntie died…) Just so I feel to kick to my gut/ that lump in my throat And I don't know how much hope I can muster I just felt so flat/ go back to the days we had Those ghosts just go on repeat rotation Souls move on/ recollections stay So so sad and it seems so basic They go/ we mourn/ then we move on ‘til the Lord calls What's after life? Losing people you love so much Pulls out these thoughts like “this can't be right” (it can't be right man…) And it sparks that fire where you question so much And you get nowhere so I just can't place all my faith in an afterlife (Nah, I tried…) So I recharge then charge at the mic Attempting to make some sense out of all this Fall back/ drown all the talking Yeah it's all part of the fight [Hook] x2 Right here right now wanna see you face to face And tell you why I feel like how I feel and ask you why you had to/ uh! Can't even say that word sometimes still doubt it's true Then I fall back to Earth and I sit back and I reminisce about you [Second Verse] It hits me deep when I realise that I can't see my granddad Just struck me now how much of a big impact that man had I find it weird how I don't really know that much about Shano But that name's ingrained in my past that it still hits hard when I hear it So much so that it feels like I miss someone That I don't really know so well but blood's too thick to ignore that hole That appeared so clear when she left us cold/ no warning One morning woke up with her mum screaming down on the phone To my dad tryna tell him what's happened I'm calling God like “bruv, please, can't have more of this” ‘Cause more or less what, like two years prior I was trying to account for my ma**i leaving But I don't regret not seeing her much ‘Cause once I was only gonna stay with her one night One night turned into one weekend Which turned into one whole week and I'm pleased that it did ‘Cause the grief otherwise would've felt as deep as Shano's did (Shano's did…) My granddad too (my granddad too…) Saw him in the hospital bed in a state that I'd never wanna see him in Like seeing my mum start crying when the hearse pulled up See the flowers read ‘Dad' then the hurt crawls up to your heart Like when I saw both my uncles push that bu*ton for the curtain call It's done [Hook] x2 Right here right now wanna see you face to face And tell you why I feel like how I feel and ask you why you had to/ uh! Can't even say that word sometimes still doubt it's true Then I fall back to Earth and I sit back and I reminisce about you