Apollo Brown - Holding Back Tears lyrics

Look, was never lyrical but read a couple books Was more than criminal I empathized with crooks Life give the minimal so scraps is what we took, s O when it's critical no time to be shook Ain't say I'm hood but my neighbors ain't invite me in Made them uncomfortable I used to wish for lighter skin I used to hate myself my mind was sick is my defense Low self-esteem not aligning more with righteous men Since Tiwanne died my mind kind of switched Another homicide lied on the dry cement I couldn't even cry all I wanted was revenge Some wounds never heal, even time couldn't fix The tide I'm against in a ship ready to capsize In troubled water's I guess I'm getting baptized As for forgiveness for every time that I backslide Would be a miracle drown in hate for the last time [Chorus] Holding back tears, going back years Ain't want to feel pain, I let go of that fear I been holding back tears (repeat 2x) Look, was never any good with matters of the heart Don't hand me yours if you been fragile from the start Not sk**ed in discipline or mastering the art Designer fabrics are more flattering with scars I'm a flawed man, ah man Look, glad my salvation wasn't left into y'all hands If you ain't never had to scrape, scratch or crawl man I don't need your opinion cause you an off brand Now try and picture my frame of mind Portraits develop in dark rooms it's taking time A fine craft on display with a great design Often at a loss for words but I can make it rhyme I'm guess I'm saying that I'm on a soul search And when all that glitters ain't gold barely denotes worth Numb the pain the liquor says that it don't hurt Holding back tears I pray to God that I don't burst [Chorus] [2nd Chorus] Bear the burden, share the sermon Tell the truth then, share my purpose The times now it's never been more urgent (2x) I been holding back tears