Anna Deavere Smith - Swallowing the Bitterness lyrics

liquor store owner (A house on Sycamore Street in Los Angeles just south of Beverly. A tree-lined street. A quiet street. It's in an area where many Hasidic Jews live as well as yuppie types. Mrs. Young-Soon Han's living room is impeccable. Dark pink-and-apricot rug and sofa and chairs. The sofa and chairs are made of a velour. On the back of the sofa and chairs is a Korean design. There is a gla** coffee table in front of the sofa. There is nothing on the coffee table. There is a mantel with a bookcase, and a lot of books. The mantel has about thirty trophies. There are her nephew's. They may be for soccer. On the wall behind the soda area, a series of citations and awards. These are her ex-husband's. They are civic awards. There are a couple of pictures of her husband shaking hands with official-looking people and accepting awards. In this area is also a large painting of Jesus Christ. There is another religious painting over the archway to the dining room. There are some objects hanging on the side of the archway. Long strips and oval shapes. It is very quiet. When we first came in, the television was on, bur she turned it off. (She is sitting on the floor and leaning on the coffee table. When she hits her hand on the table, it sounds very much like a drum. I am accompanied by two Korean-American graduate students from UCLA.) Until lat year I believed America is the best. I still believe it. I don't deny that now because I'm a victim, but as the year ends in '92 and we were still in turmoil and having all the financial problems and mental problems. Then a couple months ago I really realized that Korean immigrants were left out from this society and we were nothing. What is our right? Is it because we are Korean? Is it because we have no politicians? Is it because we don't speak good English? Why? Why do we have to be left out? (She is hitting her hand on the coffee table.) We are not qualified to have medical treatment. We are not qualified to get, uh, food stamp (She hits the table once), not GR (Hits the table once), no welfare (Hits the table once), Anything. Many Afro-Americans (Two quick hits) who never worked (One hit), they get at least minimum amount (One hit) of money (One hit) to survive (One hit). We don't get any! (large hit with full hand spread) Because we have a car (One hit) and we have a house. (Pause six seconds) And we are high taxpayers. (One hit) (Pause fourteen seconds) Where do I finda [sic] justice? Okay, Black people probably believe they won by the trial? Even some complains only half right? justice was there. But I watched the television that Sunday morning, early morning as they started. I started watch it all day. They were having party and then they celebrated, all of South-Central, all the churches. They finally found that justice exists in this society. Then where is the victims' rights? They got their rights. By destroying innocent Korean merchants... They have a lot of respect, as I do, for Dr. Martin King? He is the only model for Black community. I don't care Jesse Jackson. But he was the model of nonviolence. Nonviolence? They like to have hiseh [sic] spirits. What about last year? They destroyed innocent people. (Five-second pause) And I wonder if that is really justice (And a very soft "uh" after "justice," like "justicah," but very quick) to get their rights in this way. (Thirteen-second pause) I waseh swallowing the bitterneeseh, sitting here alone and watching them. They became all hilarious (Three-second pause) and, uh, in a way I was happy for them and I felt glad for them. At leasteh they got something back, you know. Just let's forget Korean victims or other victims who are destroyed by them. They have fought for their rights (One hit simultaneous with the word "rights") over two centuries (One hit simultaneous with "centuries") and I have a lot of sympathy and understanding for them. Because of their effort and sacrificing, other minorities, like Hispanic or Asians, maybe we have to suffer more by mainstream. You know, that's why I understand, and then I like to be part of their 'joyment. But... That's why I had mixed feeling as soon as I heard the verdict. I wish I could live together with eh [sic] Blacks, but after the riots there were too much differences. The fire is still there - how do you call it?- igni... igniting fire. (She says a Korean phrase phonetically: "Dashi yun gi ga nuh") It's still dere. It canuh burst out anytime.