AnimatedJames - Marvel Musical lyrics

[Verse 1: Iron Man] I was living the life, yes I was having so much fun I was winning awards I didn't even know I won And just in case you can't tell All of that went straight to hell When I was was kidnapped by Some Afghan guy Who made me build a missile Or I would die I got a magnet in my chest Thanks to this guy wearing a vest (Who dies but) I am able to give them all the boot With the fire I can shoot From this really kick-a** suit That can also fly (For like 8 seconds) But after some improvements using robotic tools I was able to make the suit way more cool Then I got rebellious Obadiah Stane got jealous And he stole my heart in a completely non-gay way (Ooh, ooh) In a completely non-gay way (Ooh, ooh) And so I k**ed him [Verse 2: The Incredible Hulk] I've been living in a third world country Which is kind of ironic since I'm trying not get angry I've been working in a bottle factory Then I got discovered and tracked down by the military Then back in New York, I found my girlfriend I destroyed a helicopter and then This guy got jealous of me (Deja vu) And then he became a muscly freak too Kinda wish I had k**ed him [Verse 3: Iron Man 2] The Stark Expo's back and now that everyone knows That I'm a superhero and Hammer Tech blows My life is great, nothing can go wrong, oh wait Some Russian guy wants me to die And so I k**ed him… Okay I lied The Russian went on work for Hammer Tech I found a cross-word puzzle on my neck And so I threw a party And I really partied hardy until Rhodey came in, kicked my a**, and stole my suit And now the Russian guy has drones And I'm pretty much all alone Since Pepper abandoned me Rhodey's a War Machine My chest is k**ing me So I invent a new element Shaped like a triangle And then I k**ed that Russian guy [Verse 4: Thor] In the land of Asgard I'm about to be king Until I disobey my father which kinda screws up everything Stripped of powers, banished to Earth, hilarity ensues I get arrested by S.H.I.E.L.D. and I fall in love with a Jew While I'm gone, Loki takes over Asgard Without my powers, k**ing this giant cyclops thing is really hard Through the power of Odin's tear, I get my powers back And now I have no choice but to counter Loki's attack By k**ing him… Kind of… Not really… [Verse 5: Captain America] I wanted to be an American soldier But instead they gave me the cold shoulder They thought I'd get k**ed easily Just because I have a few health difficulties So to save myself the embarra**ment I partake in a dangerous experiment That gives me biceps, pecks, and abs I can also run slightly faster So I go murder some Nazi ba*tards Led by a guy whose named Red Skull for some reason And so I k**ed him (Right before crashing into the Arctic and freezing over for several decades) I wake up in the future where I have to adjust To seeing black people sitting in the front of the bus And so just when I think that this is all a bad dream This black guy tells me about joining a team [Verse 6: The Avengers] Now, we all are obligated to join forces Even though we hate each other for some bizarre reason And, well, we can't k** each other since we're all equally matched So we might as well stop this plan that Loki has hatched [Tony] Wait Loki's alive? [Thor] Indeed [Tony] What the hell!? [Thor] Bruce didn't k** the Abomination [Tony] Yeah Bruce, what the hell was that about? [Bruce] Well… My… Girlfriend… Told me… Not to… [Tony] ...p**y A portal opens, Loki's army attacks Insert fight scene, we have each other's backs Rather suspenseful since Tony almost dies Loki is stopped thanks to Thor, Captain America, Hulk, Iron man… And these guys [Outro] AND SO WE KILLED HIM! [Thor] Well, we didn't k** him we just sort of beat the sh** out of him SO WE BEAT THE sh*t OUT OF HIM!