Angela Lansbury - Bosom Buddies lyrics

[VERA & MAME] We'll always be bosom buddies Friends, sisters, and pals We'll always be bosom buddies If life should reject you There's me to protect you [VERA] If I say that your tongue is vicious- [MAME] If I call you uncouth- [BOTH] It's simply that Who else but a bosom buddy Will sit down and tell you the truth? [VERA, spoken] Though now and again I'm aware that my candid opinion may sting- [MAME, spoken] Though often my frank observation might scald I've been meaning to tell you for years You should keep your hair natural like mine [VERA, spoken] If I kept my hair natural like yours, I'd be bald (sung) But darling [BOTH] We'll always be dear companions [VERA] My crony [MAME] My mate [BOTH] We'll always be harmonizing [VERA] Orphan Annie and Sandy [BOTH] Like Amos and Andy [VERA] If I say that your sense of style's As far as off as your youth; It's simply that Who else but a bosom buddy Will tell you the whole stinking truth? [MAME, spoken] Each time that a critic has written "Your voice is the voice of a frog!" Straight to your side to defend you I rush You know that I'm there ev'ry time that the world makes an unkind remark When they say "Vera Charles is the world's greatest lush!" (sung) It hurts me! [VERA] And if I say your fangs are showing Mame, pull in your claws It's simply that Who else but a bosom buddy Will notice the obvious flaws! [MAME, spoken] I feel it's my duty to tell you it's time to adjust to your age; you try to be "Peg O' My Heart", when you're "Lady Macbeth." Exactly how old are you, Vera? The truth! [VERA, spoken] How old do you think? [MAME, spoken] I'd say somewhere in between forty and the d**h! [BOTH] But sweetie [VERA] I'll always be Alice Toklas If you'll be Gertrude Stein And though I'll admit I've dished you I've gossiped and gloated But I'm so devoted [MAME] And if I say that s** and guts Made you into a star It's simply that Who else but a bosom buddy Will tell you how rotten you are? [BOTH] Just turn your bosom buddy For aid and affection For help and direction For loyalty, love, and forsooth Remember that who else but a bosom buddy Will sit down and level And give you the devil Will sit down and tell you the truth?