Andy Samberg - I Run NY lyrics

[Jorma] Ladies and gentlemen, the mayor of New York [Andy] Good morning It's been brought to my attention that many rap artists claim they run New York But this is not the case In fact, I wrote my own song about what it's really like Please excuse the profanity in advance. Hit it I RUN NEW YORK! [Hook: Billie Joe Armstrong] New York, big city of dreams, and you know that I run this town (I RUN IT!) The king of the streets, dressed in concrete, skyscrapers on my crown (I'M THE KING!) So if you want this Big Apple, come try to take a bite (C'MON!) Cause I run this motherf**ing city and I won't give it up without a fight! [Verse 1: Andy] Yo I run New York It's a pain in the a** The city's crowded as f** And it's covered in trash! And the sanitation chief just shovels sh** in my face Another transit strike? Aww, f**in' great! I can't wait To have another meeting with the labor union So the mob can bend me over And then shove their f**ing shoe in! But I do it So you can sip your pumpkin latté I literally run New York and it's exhausting! [Hook: Billie Joe Armstrong] I run New York It's a f**in' headache It really wears you down (IT su*kS!) In this lake of bureaucratic bullsh** It's a miracle I don't drown! [Verse 2: Andy] Yo, I double literally run New York: I run the marathon Plus I organized it So I double run the marathon But no one seems to give a f** that I'm a paragon Instead they Photoshop me so it's looking like I wear a thong And laugh at it in my own office when I'm gone I went to the Knicks game and they booed me on the Jumbotron Excuse me for trying to help you They won't be satisfied 'til I'm locked up in Bellevue I guess they don't tell you This job s**s dick I run New York and it feels like sh*t! [Hook: Billie Joe Armstrong] The Chief of Police is a major bully He laughs at my ideas (HE'S A JERK!) He made fun of my tie last week And I had to fight back tears [Verse 3: Andy] Now on the surface it probably seems like I should quit Cause I spend every day getting punched in the dick But at night I travel down into the subway Wearing chainmail, locked and loaded for gunplay And battle the gigantic fire-breathing mutant rats If I f**in' quit, who the f** would do that? I'll give you a hint: the answer is no one That's why I'm in the sewer dressed up like a shogun Cause on the equinox, a Hell Gate springs Releasing hounds wreathed in the blood of kings And no one even knows They just think I'm a dork But I still k** those f**ing dogs, cause I RUN NEW YORK! [Hook: Billie Joe Armstrong] I run New York, it's a sh**ty gig No overtime in my pay (BULLsh*t!) I asked this city for a f**in' bonus And they said "no f**in' way" (UNREAL!) So rotten is this Big Apple It's crawling with worms inside (COME ON!) But I run this motherf**ing sh**hole city And it makes me wanna die! [Andy] I RUN NEW YORK! Thank you