Andy "Falco" Falkous - The Limits of Battleships lyrics

Have you ever been part of A criminal conspiracy? It really is incredible fun Once the boring paper work is done A man could get used to it Have you ever had posters That seemed to watch you When you were sleeping? I found them all underneath the sink Drunk and conferring One drink for the limits of battleships Two drinks for the limits of coal Three drinks for the pilots One drink for the limits of battleships Two drinks for accountants Have you every known anyone Who could wear a hat indoors Without guns or bodyguards To impress on the bare-headed hoards That the choice was a reasonable one? Have you ever been wound up To the point of prison food? So far, so tame Everybody has a prick in the game But have you ever been to bed with Elaine? One drink for the limits of battleships Two drinks for the limits of coal Three drinks for the pilots Four drinks for the permanent residents Five drinks on the golf course No drinks for the enemy combatants No drinks for the door-staff No drinks for the tireless testers No drinks It's only the way of the world, i have heard It's only the way of the world He shook like a liars tongue He shook like a liars tongue An old colonial snack With pastry on his arm And it burns like writers block It burns like writers block But there's no girls on the team No girls on the team (it burns)