Android - The Dark lyrics

[Verse 1: Android] I was 14 when my mother kicked my father out This is when I took my first peek at Satan's slaughterhouse He told me, your mother ain't letting me back You the man of the house now, you gotta pick up the slack I sighed a sigh of relief, this motherf**er is gone Then I got hit with grief, it's like I lost me a bond I was still a freshman, still had a couple of friends But those friendships broke, I thought I was getting closer to the end The end of nothing, cuz really I never did sh** I started writing to beats, like who thought this kid could spit I was just f**ing around, just jotting to be funny Cooped up in the house, not outside when it's sunny A call of duty geek, thought I could make some vids on YouTube But the sh** that rules my life just caught up with me too soon The sh** I like to call father, a voice inside my head These thoughts of constant judgment, I wanna crack em until I see red A thousand eyes always on me, I wished em all dead Man I was living like a zombie, and then father said "Listen, these people ain't like you You had this anxiety sh**, like since you were 2 You just didn't realize, this is who you are You see that noose hanging, man that's not that far" But f** that, I got way too much to live for I wanna see my kids thirteenth, like Millard Fillmore I wanna blow up, and show the world who I am And forget about this red b**h with two horns like a ram But this sh** never stopped, it only got worse And now I never step outside, I think that I'm cursed I can't speak in front of people cuz I get red and get the shakes Going outside results in the worst stomach aches But these words, i know they something special Cuz writing's my only outlet from those thoughts that I wrestle I live in the dark, I feel no comfort when I can see A hollow man loves when he forgets what he will be The light shows me truth, but in the ugliest form I find that traveling down the coldest roads is when I feel most warm