There is a reason you see That I'm thicker in the middle I could blame it on a bad knee Maybe just a little I could blame it on my blue jeans Or that my wife is such a fine chef My metabolism 's changing But I haven't told you yet It's a magical, mysterious Hispanically ambiguously glaze What is that white stuff on my nachos It's too thin for melted cheese It's too thick to be just milk So won't somebody tell me please What is that white stuff I'm consuming Cause it's so consuming me We'll you know they'll never tell you Cause then they'd have to k** you There's a mother load of cheese-juice That they found in Matchu Pichu In the temple of the Incas There's a fountain flowing cheese dip And then they smuggle it to Texas And then they trick us with the free chips It's mind control in a salsa bowl I'm not even sure I remember how I got here Well give me some of that white stuff on my nachos It's too thin for melted cheese It's too thick to be just milk In its sublime consistency What is that white stuff I'm consuming Cause it's so consuming me So this is sort of a love song It's a kind of confession As for me ya see I'm long gone So consider this a lesson They wanna make us into zombies Lurch into La Hacienda To gobble up the Chimmy Chongas That isn't how you wanna end up But Mexico remembers the Alamo And the ghost of Montezuma 's on the move He's taken over with the white stuff on my nachos It's too thin for melted cheese It's too thick to be just milk So won't somebody tell me please What is that white stuff I'm consuming Cause it's so consuming me What is that white stuff won't somebody please What is that white stuff won't somebody please What is that white stuff I don't care, just pa** the cheese