Andrew Lloyd Webber - The Awefull Battle of the Pekes and Pollicles lyrics

Munkustrap: Of the awful battle Of the pekes and the pollicles Together with some account Of the participation of the pugs and the poms And the intervention of the all great Rumpus Cat!!! The pekes and the pollicles everyone knows Are a proud and implacable pa**ionate foes It is always the same where ever one goes And the Pugs and the Poms although most people say That they did not like fighting will once in a way Show every symptom of wanting to join in the fray And they All: Bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark Munkustrap: Until you could hear them all over the park Now on the occa**ion of which I shall speak Almost nothing had happened for nearly a week (And that's a long time for a Pol or a Peke) The big police dog was away from his beat I don't know the reason but some people think He slipped into the Wellington's Arms for a drink And no one at all was about on the street When a Peke and a Pollicle happened to meet They did not advance or exactly retreat But they glared at each other and scraped their hind feet And they started to All: Bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark Munkustrap: Until you could hear them all over the park Now the Peke although people may say what they please Is no british dog but Heathen Chinese And so all the Pekes when they heard the uproar Some came to the window, some came to the door And together they started to grumble and wheeze In their huffery-snuffery Heathen Chinese But a terrible din is what Pollicles like For your Pollicle dog is a dour Yorkshire tyke Male Cats: There are dogs out of every nation the Irish, the Welsh and the Dane: The Russian, the Dutch, the Dalmatian And even from China and Spain The Poodle, the Pom, the Alsatian And the Mastiff who walks on a chain Munkustrap: And to those that are frisky and frolical Let my meaning be perfectly plain: Male Cats: That my name it is little Tom Pollicle And you'd better not do it again!" Munkustrap: And his braw Scottish cousins are snappers and biters And every dog-jack of them notable fighters And so they stepped out with their pipers in order Playing "When the Blue Bonnets Come Over The Border" And the Pugs and the Poms held no longer aloof But some from the balcony some from the roof Joined into the din with a All: Bark bark bark bark bark bark bark bark Munkustrap: Until you could hear them all over the park All: Huffery snuffery huffery snuff! Munkustrap: Until you could hear them all over the park All: BARK BARK BARK BARK Munkustrap: NO!!!! (Silence) When these bold heros together a**embled The traffic all stopped And the Underground trembled And some of the neightbors were so much afraid That they started to ring up the Fire Brigade When suddenly up from a small basement flat Why who should stalk out but the Great Rumpus Cat!!!! His eyes were like fireballs fearfully blazing He gave a great yawn and his jaws were amazing And when he looked out through the bars of the area You never saw anything fiercer.......Or hairier And what with a glare of his eyes and his yawning The Pekes and the Pollicles quickly took warning He looked to the sky and he gave a great leap And every last one of them scattered like sheep! And when the Police dog returned to his beat There wasn't a single one left on the street! All: All hail and all bow to the Great Rumpus Cat!!!!