Andrew Lloyd Webber - Give Us Something Juicy lyrics

(An office in the "News of the World" building. CHRISTINE sits, out of her depth and a little uncomfortable, as three JOURNALISTS circle her, notepads in hand. A reel-to-reel tape recorder is on. CHRISTINE aims for (but fails to achieve) a tone of jaunty indifference.) {FIRST JOURNALIST} Give us something juicy {SECOND JOURNALIST} What was Jack like in bed? {THIRD JOURNALIST} If it's really juicy It could make you rich! {FIRST JOURNALIST} Make it nice and fruity Tell us what Astor said How did he persuade you When he got the itch? {SECOND JOURNALIST} Who came in the front as You slipped Jack out the back Any chance it could have been a Russian spy? {THIRD JOURNALIST} Did you mention missiles In the sack with old Jack? Was Ivanov chatty when he stroked your thigh? {CHRISTINE} Ivanov? {THIRD JOURNALIST} You heard me {CHRISTINE} Hang about What's your game? Where did you Get that name? {FIRST JOURNALIST} What's it matter, love? {CHRISTINE} I thought I was here to talk about Johnny Edgecombe! {SECOND JOURNALIST} You're here to talk about whatever we want you to talk about! {THIRD JOURNALIST} Such as whether you discussed matters of national security when you were in bed with the Minister for War? {CHRISTINE} When he gave Way to lust Missiles weren't Much discussed {THIRD JOURNALIST} And Ivanov? {CHRISTINE} Eugene was a very big vodka man He'd have ten for the road And then things would never go quite to plan I don't think that he ever shot his load! (Laughter from the JOURNALISTS) {FIRST JOURNALIST} Whoa, there! {SECOND JOURNALIST} That's not what we want to hear! {CHRISTINE} It only happened the once at the very most, and we were both so drunk, neither of us could really remember what we'd done! Surely we owe your readers the truth, don't we? (More laughter from the JOURNALISTS.) {FIRST JOURNALIST} Don't be bloody stupid! {SECOND JOURNALIST} Where's the fun reading that? {THIRD JOURNALIST} We need something juicy For the papers to sell! Never mind what happened They want tit, they want tat He may not have fu*ked you, Christine What the hell? {SECOND JOURNALIST} We owe it to our readers "All the news fit to print" That is our proud credo On the street of shame {FIRST JOURNALIST} Play your cards right, darling Or you could end up skint Do you want the gutter Or a life of fame? {CHRISTINE} You wanted my story You promised me glory Never told me I was going to have to lie! {FIRST JOURNALIST} You don't understand It's twenty-four grand "News of the World" readers set their sights quite high! {SECOND JOURNALIST} Without something juicy This ain't worth thirty bob {THIRD JOURNALIST} We'll do all the writing It's a piece of cake! {ALL JOURNALISTS} Tell us something juicy Come on, love Do your job {FIRST JOURNALIST} Orgies {SECOND JOURNALIST} ni**ers {THIRD JOURNALIST} Warheads {ALL JOURNALISTS} Real news, for Christ's sake! Tell us something juicy Come on, love Do your job Orgies ni**ers Warheads Real news, for Christ's sake! Orgies ni**ers Warheads Real news, for Christ's sake!