Andrew Friedman - Ash Returns: Restoration of the Pokéworld lyrics

Jigglypuff looked decrepit: she was the challenger's only remaining Pokémon and appeared to be on her last hurrah. Across from her sat a gluttonous Snorlax, who had decimated her larynx with his previous attack, body slam. The attack rendered Jigglypuff unable to sing . Disregarding his dismal victory odds, the challenger refused to withdraw Jigglypuff; instead, he watched his Pokémon suffer one more Snorlax body slam. Jigglypuff fainted. The challenger walked out of the ring, leaving Jigglypuff without necessary Pokécenter care. As a result, Jigglypuff was moved to a corner to bleed out and died three hours later. In recent times, Jigglypuff's case proved to be the rule, not the exception . Since the introduction of the PokéVirus pandemic, Pokémon were viewed as nothing more than economic goods. Very few people cared about the treatment of their Pokémon or anyone else's, as long as they were able to make a profit. Black market Pokémon trading and underground fight rings , like the one Jigglypuff died in, were all too common. Since Pokémon were only utilized for the services that they provided, they became targets for slave labor as well as food sources for some. Pokémon were even put to d**h if they could not turn a profit for their owners. One would think that the mistreatment of Pokémon would lead to an economic recession; however, the economy had thrived in response to the PokéVirus. Innately, humans had always wanted to take full advantage of Pokémon. After the spread of the virus, they simply felt less guilty in doing so since the Pokémon became emotionless. In spite of the economic boom, a clear disadvantage of the PokéVirus was the nearly immediate extinction of legendary Pokémon . Legendaries were some of the largest moneymakers for underground ring leaders, so they became overused to maximize the profits that they produced. Exactly zero legendary Pokémon survived the next decade. Team Rocket, who had gained political success as a result of the PokéVirus-bolstered economy, still devoted a sector of its staff to research and hunt for new undiscovered legendary Pokémon. The idea that Pokémon were only used as goods did not appeal to all citizens of Kanto . Ash Ketchum , who retired but became a multimillionaire from motivational speeches , was disgusted by the lack of care given to Pokémon, despite the new emotionless nature of the creatures. Professor Oak shared some of the same feelings as Ash. Oak was in the process of giving his laboratory to his grandnephew, Harry , and became the author of a newspaper column in the Pallet Town Times . One day, in response to a recent ma** k**ing of nineteen Eevees , Oak grew entirely too sick of the Pokémon abuse and used his newspaper column to publish a controversial article demanding the removal of Team Rocket from governmental office. Oak's intentions were to spread economic and political awareness; however, Team Rocket leader Giovanni was informed of the article and elected to respond with aggression. The corpse of Professor Oak was discovered three days later. After Oak was declared missing, police searched his home and found the professor lying dead in his bedroom. His neck was deeply bruised and his skin appeared cyanotic . Much to the disbelief of his close relatives, police deemed Oak's d**h a heart attack . Ash, who was also in disbelief, refused accept this fact. Ash conducted an investigation of his own; he visited Professor Oak's place of d**h but was initially unable to discover pieces of information that could disprove the heart attack. Ash, dumbfounded, glanced around Professor Oak's room once more. In the corner of the bedroom, Ash noticed Professor Oak's computer. He turned it on and immediately noticed a sooty substance on the mouse and keyboard. Ash brushed some of the substance on a tissue to be kept for later, but he continued his exploration of Oak's computer. Ash eventually came across an unfinished research publication containing multiple diagrams of an unidentifiable Pokémon . Immediately, Ash knew this research document could alter the future of the entire Kanto region. He printed the document and pocketed the sooty tissue, delivering them to the laboratory of Oak's grandnephew. Harry was equally as shocked as Ash upon his notice of the research document. Harry performed a lab an*lysis on the soot while he discussed the document with Ash. The two of them arrived at the same conclusion: the Pokémon in Professor Oak's unfinished publication needed to be synthesized as soon as possible. By Harry's estimations, it was going to take six months to create the Pokémon. During this period of time, Ash needed to create the ultimate game plan to both avenge the d**h of Harry's great uncle Oak and return Kanto to the pre-PokéVirus state. To do this, Ash needed to crush Team Rocket. Ash decided that the best plan of action was to come out of retirement to once again catch and train enough Pokémon to make a formidable starting six . He announced his return in the final edition of Professor Oak's newspaper column, stating that he would officially start battling again in six months. Six months pa**ed and the synthesis of the new Pokémon was complete. It was named Vaxantom . Harry and Ash could practically smell the salivation of Giovanni, who they knew would love to get his hands on such a rare monster. Ash, using his celebrity, promoted his own underground Pokémon ring. He advertised that the first person to beat him would receive not only $1,000,000 Pokémon dollars, but also the ownership rights to the “newly discovered legendary Pokémon,” Vaxantom. News of Ash's offer spread throughout Kanto like wildfire; one can be certain that if the general public knows about a lucrative Pokémon event, Giovanni also knows. After three days of dismantling local Pokémon trainers, Ash was showing no signs of slowing down. A familiar looking duo of trainers and their notorious cat-Pokémon , however, challenged Ash on day four. Ash took a large lead in the battle, yet gradually allowed the Team Rocket trainers to work their way back into the duel. The battle concluded with a comeback Team Rocket win. Giovanni's minions departed with Vaxantom and the cash. In wake of the "loss", Ash could not help but grin to himself. News spread of Ash's quick loss . News also spread of Giovanni's new legendary powerhouse Pokémon: over the next few months, Giovanni accumulated tens of millions in Pokémon dollars by sending Vaxantom to countless underground Pokémon rings across Kanto. Coincidentally, breaking stories about emotion being miraculously restored to Pokémon seemed to correlate with Giovanni's financial success. Giovanni, blinded by his riches, failed to notice the connection. Over the next few years, nearly every Pokémon regained its emotional character. The economy slightly recessed as a result, but treatment of Pokémon had improved dramatically . Ash's financial sacrifices and Harry's intelligence had gone unrecognized by the public, yet they prefer it that way. Looks like “Team Rocket is blasting off again” after all!