Andrea Martin - He Vas My Boyfriend lyrics

Love comes when you least suspect it Love dances in on a whim I thought maybe I could direct it But I never expected... A guuy like him He was a bully und a brute He vas as crazy as a coot Still I didn't give a hoot He vas my boyfriend! With ev'ry voman he vould flirt He alvays treated me like dirt But I vas happy to be hurt He vas my boyfriend! I vas as pure as a virgin meadow Lying with Vicotr in the gloam Then he turned to me, that charmer, whispered, "Let's Play farmer." And plowed me 'til the cows came home! He vas a monster and a beast His midnight bangings never ceased It didn't faze me in the least He vas my boyfriend! I'll never forget the first time I met Victor. It vas On the village green At the annual bock beer festival, where every beer cost A bock I vas an innocent young lamb and he was a dirty old Goat Ve vere made for each other All of a sudden, he took out his paraphernalia and Shouted "Let's play croquet!", and off to the field ve vent He carried his hoops and mallets and I carried his Balls What a festival! Fun and games all day long. Archery Badminton, potato sack Victor won the three-legged race... all by himself. It Vas love at first sight He vas the one I gave my heart to But ve never wed even so If I mentioned wedlock He'd put me in a headlock! Vhen I asked to be his wife He stabbed me with a kitchen knife Ach, where did the good times go? If he had an angry fit I vas the first thing that he'd hit But I didn't give a sh**... He vas my boyfriend!