Anachronaeon - The Essence Of My Becoming lyrics

I woke up in the midst of a dream Only to find I was still dreaming In cold sweat I was reminded of the deeds My father had me do to my brother My father was a hard man, righteous and strong His fists and the Bible taught me right from wrong The bruises and black eyes made me a man I swore I'd serve the Lord and do the best I can My brother was a retard who did not deserve life He k**ed mother at birth, and made our father lose a wife So father and I buried him alive and left And saved him from a lifetime of self-loathing and hate By devoting my life to God I'll be given a place by the ethereal throne Where the righteous reign In higher spheres of light One night God called for me again Four years had pa**ed since last time So I packed my things and went out in the night Awaiting the next sign I walked a long time and I entered a park Where I heard sounds of fornication I knew what I had to do, I must follow through To carry out God's exclamation First I hit the man to the ground And slit his throat with the blade in my hand I pulled the woman by the hair to get her near Her half naked body shivered with fear I was so angry with her so I beat her first Then I raped her once to quench my thirst I felt so ashamed but it was the demon I blamed And God didn't call for me in vain I could not come when she was staring at me So I stabbed her eyes so she could not see But my lust was gone and this was wrong all along So I strangled her and then let her be