Hello my name is Earnest, yep it's not Jack
Or is it, I don't know because my social life is whack
I have two personalities with two different names
This acting belongs in the hall of fame
I'm Jack Worthing in the country
But in London I get funky
My name is Earnest here, This name is top tier
I'm with the in crowd, Where we're all well endowed
Fat Algy is my best friend, I see him on the weekend
I also like Gwen, She's Barbie and I'm Ken
I love Gwen and I asked her hand in marriage
But she's used to life in a horse drawn carriage
I asked her to come to my country house
Even though she might have to use an outhouse
But Fat Algy overhears this and would like to meet my ward
He sneaks into my life to slay, like a sword
Now Algy takes up the name Earnest
And It felt like I was in the Circus
My ward falls in love with him, it's looking kinda grim
There are now two people named Earnest
Neither actually named Earnest
Cecily and Gwen get into a skirmish
They both married, a guy whose name is Earnest
So Algy and I, we fessed up
We admitted, that we messed up
Earnest was neither of our names
My name is jack and his is Algy, we exclaim
They take our deceitfulness with a grain of salt
I'm glad neither of the marriages will have to halt
These rich people and their petty ways
It makes me want to set the world ablaze
They don't even care that we lied
They only look at what can be objectified
Man, I even might be one of them
Makes me feel like a hocked loogie a piece of phlegm