*chorus*
I really tried to be a good guy,-
But ever since my child'hood i,-felt so lonely if only they understood my,-
Pain maybe if i had some encouragement i'd feel the pa**ion that'd inspire me so i would try,-
But right now i feel like i could cry,-
Sometimes i wonder if i should die,-and give up on life and say goodbye, goodbyeee cruel, world
I don't fit in or belong here so good bye cruel world,-
Goodbyeeeeee...goodbyeeee
Trust me i am no fool,-
I'm aware that this world is so cruel,-
But i don't understand the reason i was put in this'''place 'n why i'm here,-
It seems to me like i'm jiss'''wastin' my time here (jiss - just)
I feel like my life has no meaning er purpose,- (er -or)
People keep yellin' at me screaming yer worthless (yer - your)
Life in this world is so unfair it's so ridiculous,-
I'm over sick of this,-
I try to enjoy life so much i'm f**in' dyin' to live a bit,-
I'm tryin' to give a sh**,-
But nothin' is goin' my way,-
sh** just keeps gettin' worse 'n there's always somethin' to f** up my day,-
I feel sick so i seek help from doctors but the motherf**ers don't care about me they just want their damn money,-
'n i can't even trust my own f**in' family,-
I'm tired of life but i'm scared to die,-i'm so accustomed to this bullsh** i'm too despaired to cry,-
And it seems this paranoia'''i feel is real 'n i appear to be hexed
My own mother'''still is stealin' my security checks
It's gotten to the point i only see the worst in people,-i feel like every person's evil,-
I'm pessimistic 'n paranoid to the point i'm always lookin' at life's bad side,-
I look at my empty past and lack of accomplishments and wonder what life would've been like if i had tried,-
'n honestly i wish that i had died-
Instead of my sister,-miranda or on second thought she'd have to suffer instead but goddamnit i miss her,-
I see her in my dreams 'n all these memories are painful but i continue to keep these re'''mind'''ers intact-
Even when pain awakens me 'n compels me to put every emotion into each line verse 'n track,-
I contemplate endurin' life 'n its struggles 'n i don't think it's worth livin' for it,-
I put in so much work but bullsh** is all i'm given for it,-
'n i'm sick of takin' this sh**,-
It's like i got diarrhea my stomach's upset just thinkin' about every effort i'm makin' is it,-
Worth it?-what's the point of earth it,-
Bothers me 'n i have so many questions,-
I want the right answers 'n it seems only god has 'em lord do you have any suggestions,-
...
Tell me after i die where the f** am i gonna go?-
Will i be just another memory rottin' in the earth or will i experience eternal bliss or damnation i wanna know,-
...
'cause as it is i go to sleep each night dreamin' of d**h wonderin' what it would be like if i would die tommorow,-
'n finally be able to say good bye to sorrow
...
I feel like leavin' this world 'cause there's really nothin' to stay for,-
Livin' every day sore-always yearnin' for way more,-
Takin' shots at life hopin' i may score,-
But i always come up way short,-
...
This depraved world isn't worth stayin' 'n livin' in,-
'n i'm sick of dealin' with this constant bullsh** my resolve's finally swayin' 'n givin' in,-
...
To my head i put the barrel of a loaded pistol,-
'n pray to god i'll go to a place that's happy 'n blissful,-
I feel like i don't belong in this world i don't''''wanna live in-i don't fit in,- (live 'n)
'n when i feel like i'ma succumb to the stress i try to tell myself i'm not'''gonna give in,-i won't quit 'n-
I'ma continue composin' these songs 'n keep writin' 'till i die 'cause my life is a mess,-
SO i'm always upset attemptin' to release my emotions i'm tryin' to stress,-
But i fail so i'm uptight 'n socially awkward 'cause i'm always too shy 'n depressed,-
There's a war in my mind transpirin' 'n i'm dyin' fightin' against the tears i do cry 'n suppress
I'M ALWAYS TIRED BUT WHEN I'M TOO FRIGHTENED TO REST''''N I'M SCARED I HAVE NOONE TO RUN TO I,-
FEEL LIKE SAYIN' I'M DONE GUH BYE,- (GUH BYE - GOOD BYE)
I WANT HELP BUT NONE OF MY-
FRIENDS UNDERSTAND WHY I FEEL THIS WAY OR KNOW OF THE OTHER FEELINGS THAT I UNDERLIE,-
'N RIGHT NOW I FEEL LIKE PUTTIN' A GUN TO MY,-
HEAD 'N BLASTIN' IT I AIN'T GONNA LIE,-HONESTLY I WANNA DIE,-
BUT I REALLY WANNA ENJOY LIFE SO I KEEP TELLIN' MYSELF THAT I'M GONNA TRY-
TO MOVE ON BUT I'M OVERWHELMED BY THE OBSTACLES IN FRUNNA MY,- (IN FRONT OF MY)
PATH AND IT MAKES ME JUST WANNA CRY,-
I KEEP PRAYIN' TO GOD FOR HELP 'N ANSWERS BUT HE WON'T RESPOND I WONDER WHY,-
MAN ALL I fu*kIN' WANTED WAS ONE REPLY,-
BUT NOW I'M SUICIDAL AND HOMICIDAL RUMMAGIN' THROUGH MY GUN SUPPLY,-
I ATTEMPT TO CONJURE UP WORDS FOR A SUICIDE LETTER 'N HOW I SHOULD'''SAY GOOD BYE,-
TO EVERYONE BUT ON SECOND THOUGHT I JUST WISH''''THEY WOULD DIE
'N AS I WRITE THESE WORDS I TRY TO CONVINCE MYSELF THAT I DON'T CARE ANYMORE,-
BUT IF THAT'S TRUE THEN WHY DOES THE THOUGHT OF DEATH KEEP SCARIN' ME FOR,-
WHEN I'VE BEEN TRAUMATIZED BY DEPRESSION 'N TRAGEDY,-
WHILE OTHER PEOPLE JUST WALK PAST ME WITHOUT AGGRESSION 'N HAPPILY,-
BRAG ABOUT THEIR GOOD TIMES 'N THEIR SILLY HAPPY LIVES,-
IGNORANT OF OTHER PEOPLE AROUND THEM 'N THEIR REALLY CRAPPY LIVES,-
'N DON'T UNDERSTAND WHAT PEOPLE LIKE ME EVERY DAY GO THROUGH,-
THEY JUST MAKE ASSUMPTIONS ABOUT YOU BASED ON THEIR PRECONCEPTIONS 'N THAT THINK THEY KNOW YOU,-
Sayin' you're special and your life's precious but i honestly don't know why i'm even alive,-
I want to find the will to achieve 'n the drive-
To live but i've lost all motivation and interest to go on so i feel like i have no reason to strive-
I try to take advantage of the happy things in life but i'm bein' deprived,-
Instead people take advantage of me so i feel like a bee in a hive,-
I feel like i don't wanna live yet i continue'''still to breathe 'n survive,-
I've accomplished nothin' if only i had some real achievement to thrive,-
On but i don't so i just mope around lookin' down on happy higher cla** people at the top with anger while they look down on'''me in delight,-
I respond with indifferent apathy though they don't recognize my agony and pleadin' despite-
My cries 'n respond by'''bein' polite,-instead of relievin' the plight,-
I'm in distressin' in depression stressin' attemptin' expressions tryin' to stress it f** everyone i want to exceed 'n to write,-
So i'm needin' the might-to succeed 'n to fight,-
So my future won't be bleak 'n unbright-in which case i'm seekin' the light,-
But i'm too blinded by rage hatin' everybody i'm insecure weak 'n uptight,-
'n all i can do is grieve in the spite,-
So f** it if i finish writin' this letter today i'ma say goodbye to this cruel world 'cause i'm leavin' tonight,-
To go to a place afar 'n what lies ahead is unknown,-
'n i suspect i'ma probably go to hell but i ain't goin' alone*echo alone 3 times*,-
*chorus*
Since my childhood i-tried to be a good guy,-
But noone understood my-pain no matter how much i would try-
To explain 'n it's gotten to this point where i feel like i could cry,-
Sometimes i wonder if i should die,-and give up on life and say goodbye, goodbyeee cruel, world
I don't fit in or belong here so good bye cruel world,-
Goodbyeeeeee...goodbyeeee