[Intro]
Fellas prepare to drop your jaws
Ladies prepare to drop your drawers
Cause you are listening to Wagner
You want to know my s**ual history, well then, where should I start?
Oh! It was my date of birth when I first tore a girl apart
[Verse 1]
It started when my mom at age sixteen exchanged s** for amphetamines
Nine months later, she was overjoyed to get her uterus cleaned
The second pregnancy - me - she kept ‘cause she likes attention very much
That's when I got used to hearing ladies say, “Wow, so big, may I please touch?”
I wanna wrap my hands 'round bottles and my lips 'round nipples, right away
I bash my head into my mama's cervix - I refuse to stay here one more day!
Mama goes into labor at the baby shower but it feels good, she feels no pain
That's cause I can't help myself, you know I made that p**y rain
[Hook]
It wasn't from her boyfriends and it wasn't from my dad
Oh no
I'm the best orgasm that my mama ever had
She'd say that to emasculate dudes who thought they were bad:
"You're whack, and my son's still the best orgasm that I've had"
[Verse 2]
I feel a hand fresh out the salon spanking my baby bottom and giving it a squeeze
Turn to see it's the midwife stroking and tugging on my umbilical - such a sleaze
I catch the eye of a newlywed bride with big a** b**bies and tiny waist
She looks me over like she wants to know how my placenta tastes
Mommy, please vaccinate me for HPV before I cause an outbreak
I was left on the couch where mom's friends sat on my soft face, claimed it was a mistake (surrrrrre)
Then a nurse checked my air-deprived baby-body like, "yo gimme some of that
In the closet, give me orgasms like how your mama had"
My mom was never quite the same, she felt her life had peaked
The best orgasm of her life had pa**ed, now she was bleak
Mom saw no further use for me, abandoned me and fled
And that's why I tell everyone my birth left my mom dead