It's so nice to know
That even though you've seen the end of relationships
Even though you've been exposed to somebody not giving a sh** about you
Seen somebody wanting to hate you
Seen somebody actually hating you
When you've been to the other side of the gra**
And it's just dead
Because you didn't get the happily ever after
And you thought “all gra** has to be f**ing brown”
Because you couldn't see past your pasture
Even though your innocence was given away
Like an arranged marriage at a yard sale
It's so nice to know that
People can help you remember
What that first kiss felt like
Even after you've crossed that road
Burned that f**ing t-shirt
And threw away that key-locked journal that held
Your memories of
Her perfume
And knowing you have to wake up in two hours
For 8AM Chemistry
But staying up anyways
She invited me to a party
And we danced far away enough to not have to deal
With the awkwardness of liking each other
I picked up my feet
To the beat
So that she didn't have to sweep me off the floor
Like she already had before
I'm a**uming it's a lot of hard work to be so gorgeous
And so I told her
I told her “you're gorgeous!”
And oh my god
She couldn't handle it
She had to turn away
But she couldn't look away at the same time
Just smiling over her shoulder
Her eyes squinted
With full intention of
Still being able to see me
And goddamn
Her whole body
As 127 degrees turned away from me as it was
Was smiling
Gleaming at me
Because I'm hoping that she knew
How much I've been hoping to renew
My library card of cuddling
And becoming something
And we exponentially couldn't deal with
How nice it sounded
Ultimately
Closing her eyes
But so totally
Wholly
So fully
Gleaming at me
That was only a series of like 5 seconds
I thought it couldn't have gotten any better
But when she reconciled with herself
If reconciled is even the right word
We had no qualms to deal with rather than the mutual fact that
It was so nice
But anyways she came up to me
And so simply said
“this isn't over”
Laughed
And she
So simply
Kissed me on the cheek
And it was
So simply
Like
What we childishly imagine
Swimming through a cloud is like
That hug
Could have never been too long
But forever and a f**ing half
Still wasn't enough time to get everything we wanted out of that hug
Because the conjoining of two bodies
Never made so much sense to me
The only thing
I felt like I could do to show what I was f**ing dealing with
Was kiss her on the hand
And after missing
And kissing her mildly sweaty knuckles
I wondered how hands could ever hurt somebody
How hands can press the bu*tons that drop bombs on innocent people
How hands could curl into a fist
And land on a temple of an undeserving nerd
But the conjoining of those two bodies
Made me feel like they couldn't