["This isn't the stuff we normally do for you guys that are buying this. This is what happens when you consume ma**ive amounts of d** and alcohol."] My mother was a douche bag My sister was a douche bag I guess that makes me one too I got the douche bag blues, yes indeed I got the douche bag blues I got the douche bag blues Lord I don't know what to do I sold dynamite to the Arabs Bullets to the Jews Whiskey to the Indians And I'll get you too I got the douche bag blues, yes indeed I got the douche bag blues Oh I got the douche bag blues Lord I just don't know what to do
All right, play it one time baby Aaaah yeah yeah yeah aah-aah Oh vinegar and water The drink that I choose I gotta tell ya brother Tastes like p**y juice I got the douche bag blues, yes sir I got the douche bag blues, oh yeah I got the douche bag blues I got the douche bag blues Lord I just don't know what to do I got the douche bag blues, yes sir I got the douche bag blues, oh yeah I got the douche bag blues I got the douche bag blues "Tell me, how awful was that? Time flies when you're in a coma, you know that? "