NIHALLA
It's hard for me to admit what I did so casually
I regret what happened I caused a mad casuality
My mind was blank, actions committed absently
I hide in covers but understandably you're mad at me
Father, I plead to turn back the hands of time
One slip up lost a great friend of mine
An angel from above she deserved the best
I went from worse to worst and for that she detests
Life moves so fast, one accident causing the scratch
But in retrospect our relationship lost in the aftermath
My thoughts are spinning fast milky way
If I ever see her again don't know what to say
All my friends a**ure me
But I'm still cursing
Your absence is the worst thing
A completely disturbing burning
As time wears on the sensation wears off
You and I post-it a one-sided sticky tear off
Nothing I do will ever earn your respect
Forgiveness can't expect but I will never forget
What we had and how much I loved it
Rollback to when I J rolled and we hit
SEBAS
My mom cries
As we sit among the pews
Her prayer goes unreplied
For a kid she hardly knew
We all been through it
Suicide like déjà vu
Pull the trigger but there's no undo
Who wants to live forever?
You're numb to it when the 9 [mm] clicks
I'm feeling better medicated off guitar riffs
Misfits
f**ing with those kick drums and blap kits
Not in the lab?
Then I was chilling with the bad kids
So many high schoolers want to do it big
So many others wanna just fit in
It's f**ing silly
When you look like Macklemore
& wear jeans this skinny
Approval means everything really
But what about the girl who wasn't sickly?
Or the boy who got abused at home?
“I guess it's just a pity that they'll die alone”
f** that
Been there, done that
Asking them “where the love at?”
& for some tough is the only love that they've ever known
And
So
I act irresponsibly
“you feeling fine?”
[I'd rather die]
But I reply
Quite possibly
It's comedy
It's all a joke
“I'm out” is the philosophy
I put it to my head when my mom starts calling me
...as we sit among the pews
“All rise”
For a kid they hardly knew
And I
Walk to the casket
Guess I needed some help
Get in and lay beside of myself
Stare at my mom
As they lower me into
An early grave I wish I could undo
I thought I wanted this
My last thought when I went to end my misery
“I just hope somebody misses me.”