Well Officer, it's like this,
This morning I set, and polished off a fifth
As she was leaving for the mill's first shift
When I pa**ed out, she throw'd water on me
I was cold and wet when I come around
She hit me with the toaster and knocked me down
Then I guess I took care of matters the best way I knew how
I started to wonder is it her or me
I'm an alkyholic, and that's a disease
So it ain't my fault, right?
If you got room inside your squad car for me
Cuff me up, I'll gladly go along
Cause spendin' life in prison
Might be a hell on earth
Spendin' life in prison
They say there ain't much worse
But spendin' life in prison
Would damn sure be better
Then spendin' my life with her
Wait officer, there's more to my story
This evenin', she give me this here black eye
Cause I ate the last piece of pizza pie
She sat on me till I swear I could not breathe
When I finally cut loose, and run out in the yard
She tried to run me over with the family car
The neighbors stood there and watched
As I disappeared under the tires
I don't deserve to live in hell this way
I'll better off now that's she's gone
Now the b**h is gone
If you've got room inside you squad car for me
Cuff me up, I'll gladly go along
Cause spendin' life in prison
Might be a hell on earth
Spendin' life in prison
They say there ain't much worse
But spendin' life in prison
Would damn sure be better
Then spendin' my life with her
Better then spendin' my life with her
Go ahead officer, i'm ready
Take me to jail
Take me to jail
I don't give a damn