[Chorus: NyaLi]
So I'll keep smiling at least for right now
Won't share no tears no at least not right now
And If I do cry someone calm me down
Cause right now, that's just how I feel
So I'll keep smiling at least for right now
'Cause that's how I feel
Won't share no tears no at least not right now
'Cause that's how I'm feeling
And If I do cry someone calm me down
'Cause right now, that's just how I feel
[Verse 1: KING Karlemagne]
Me saying everything is going good is not believable
Sometimes I carried on with the lie, felt I needed to
Now I'm a use this moment to be real with you
Only spill the truth in hopes that maybe you will feel me too
Lot has happened since the last time
Though I'm sure that you know how it goes
And instead of running from it, I am coming forward
To show the world I'm not a coward though
Words are powerful, they can build or destroy
Found myself wondering for years if it's a ploy
Felt pissed and annoyed, wished for a different choice
Fornicated as I prayed that it'd get rid of the void
Every diss they deployed made me distant some more
It all got tired some, like the Michelin boy
Guess the gift and the joy of always dealing with heartache
Is you see a silver lining while live through the dark days
[Chorus: NyaLi]
So I'll keep smiling at least for right now
'Cause that's how I feel
Won't share no tears no at least not right now
'Cause that's how I'm feeling
And If I do cry someone calm me down
'Cause right now, that's just how I feel
[Verse 2: KING Karlemagne]
You know your funeral was beautiful
But in spirit I'm pretty sure you saw
All of your kids put aside their differences
Which ended us always feeling like we were at war
Uncle Leo, me, and merlin, carried your cascade
Seeing you there prepared to get buried was tragic
d**h dates are like birthdays everyone has it
Feel guilty that I wasn't standing there when it happened
I was shooting love is love a couple days prior
Couldn't have guessed that this woman that I loved would expire
So while you were on your way to visit with God
I was busy getting robbed by this idiot named Bob
I feel hurt cause I miss you, and I live with the thought
Hurt, I never gave you the gifts that I bought
There's a feeling of pride though other than pain
Cause at your burial even the governor came
On the blood in our veins, your struggle and shame
And all the things that you went through it wasn't in vein
Even though you are not here I love you the same
So God bless for only he will ever judge you again
We had ups, had downs, family goes through the pot holes
Only proves you were special for those who did not know
It's as if I knew you would die although it did not show
I tried to treat you with respect, and honor you got both
And remember that girl I brought to your house
She's who I want to stand with at the alter and spouse
She stood by me at your wake helped me talk it all out
Scary thing is I'd be lost if she walked out and bounce
Glad you met, cause she'll tell your great grands about you
How my father and the fam couldn't stand without you
See you were the legs, now we're paraplegic
A loss we all shared now we bare and we live with
I went to see Sideone months after you died
She said she was depressed and she's glad i stopped by
She said she had trouble conceiving a child
And is afraid that her husband would leave her, it's wild
I listened and tried to convince her to smile
If you've never been through it you couldn't live with that trail
Not to mention for years she's been out of a job
I'm telling you, so you can say it louder to god
I guess what is wild's we hadn't spoken in years
Then I mentioned aunt Vicky and she broken into tears
She's looks out for Michele though, I know it's sincere
I've been working on some blessings and I hope they appear
You know your son and I still don't see eye to eye
But he's 5'5, we'll discuss it next time
Tell grandpa and aunt Vicky they'll forever be missed
Until we meet again your memory's a gift
[Chorus: NyaLi]
So I'll keep smiling at least for right now
'Cause that's how I feel
Won't share no tears no at least not right now
'Cause that's how I'm feeling
And If I do cry someone calm me down
'Cause right now, that's just how I feel
[Verse 3: KING Karlemagne]
It was all good just a week ago
That was the last time we'd be speaking though
Sunday morning Ben called me just seeking hope
I rushed over to your crib as your people coped
Ann seemed defeated, Joe was hysterical
I held Ben close, told Alfonse I am here for you
As I kept thinking of them stories bout your mom
She kept a poker face as she told me you were gone
Left holy on her lawn, with a bullet to the brain
At a loss for words f** who pulled it's all I'm saying
You introduced me to Kwame, so he'd let me record
An OG to me and Cal, we respected you more
Didn't listen when you told us to stay out the streets
My first kiss, first b**h you're who gave her to me
Now you're gone, truth be told I'm hurting for your daughters
Your memory will live through each person you'll be thought of