Too many worries in this world, for one man to handle
Feeling helpless, judgment day for an example
Was it set? Before I was born in this world
Or is it yet ready. I explore beyond inferno
Because after life isn't above us
Trust that its somewhere other than under us
I'm hoping thou father can comfort us
My best man, my best friends, my fam
All stressed out
On different levels, the devil just playing games
I used to blaze haze with Luke, until I read Luke 12
And realized hell was separating self from self
I put a cross on my wall and looked at it every morning
Every new dawn is a new view at 6 morning, no sleep
Ecstasy pill poppin', putting holes in my brain
And every friend of mine slings pills or c**aine
My neighbor smoked crack. Went to jail came back, then he smoked again
Meanwhile my man is at the train tracks
In PJ (Port Jeff) for 3 days but he straight, so he say. He got the same clothes
I ain't stupid but I smile anyway
Tell him its Ok and say good bye until another day, wherever my brother stay
And proceed to pray in my head
26 years I felt mislead, went to war twice, I could've been dead
I refuse to waste time at 25 I made a life but
Seen her 4 times courtesy of my trifeness
But im changing im as good as my last day. Re arranging my last days poison in ash trays
My crews health been violated. Though I seen the world I feel isolated. 4 countries and Im still crime related
Got diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder
The only time it disappears is when I hold my daughter and Im sick and tired of listening to stories for a veteran who was a reserve component burger flipper in the desert but the Lord tells me stay strong
And pray for him
A mortar could've k**ed him, they could land at any coordinate
And though I got my injuries I earned them
And even though it bothers me physically I deserve them
(Do I? Do I derseve them them Lord? What do I gotta do? Im reaching out to you....keep it moving)
Whats up Dad, its me, your younger days
And even though I love you man I felt we went astray
Is it your fault or mine? My fault or mom? My fault, its mine. I caused it most of the time
Im so close to my time
Theres no hope in my mind. Say it ain't so Lord, I know that your so devine
I took a look at the mirror and saw myself judging a book by its cover
How can they call me handsome yet I cause so much trouble and though I never hustled
I provided a place for thoro breds to make muscle
My hesitation for all profits stopped when revelations told me of false prophets inevitable desecration
My testament is patience and Im waiting for mine but time makes me full of hatred like I'm wasting my time
Remain calm open my eyes and observe signs, blessings in disguise, after the rain comes sunshine
As I write to the Lord all my problems
Its obvious I'm not perfect but I know God is
Help me stay righteous, take care of my people
And help my man stop sticking his veins with needles. And get my brothers out of jail and bring my brothers home from war and give my family the strength to prevail. Amen
And as I lay me down to sleep
I pray the Lord my soul to keep
If I should die before I wake
I pray the Lord my soul to take