It was a triple bill of shame, degradation, and scorn
They pinned it all on you before you were born
Until you're sleeping on coals just to keep you warm
Tonight they broke your hands, they destroyed your honor
From the first cold glance where they preen and saunter
They said if you won't take her, someone's gonna want her
I supposed they threw a ticker tape parade to commemorate the call
Now the confetti falls like cannonballs
All Southern drawls and seasick waves
As you pa** by in the motorcade
Near the paralegals and paired-off gents
All those parasites and sycophants
They're all paranormal, they appear discreet
But they'll squawk and claw like parakeets
And you were once of interest to the nightly news and the daily press
But now that you've outlived your usefulness
Do you know what doesn't happen next?
They'll all call you by your number, they won't call you by your name
On the triple bill of shame
It was a triple bill of pain, immolation, and fear
They watched you month by month, they crept up year by year
Until you're chained to the doorstop just to keep you here
Tonight in your single mind from your double bed
No one falls behind, no one gets ahead
She said, "How do I love the little ba*tard?
I could count the ways on one hand backwards"
But you still like to know where he's coming from
Though the whole of his parts is less than the sum
And you'll paint him with tar and chew him like gum