ba*tard son of the carnival strongman
Taught to fear the white rat by his great-granddad
Still he ain't no slouch at crammin' 'em in
With a bullhorn in his hand
Formaldehyde's half empty but he tops it off
With a bottle of burglar's wine
They beat a blind man to d**h with his own damn cane
On a jam-packed Saturday night
Well he's the devil's understudy, you know he's always ready
To fill in in a pinch
Well he gon' try to be your buddy, or maybe be your honey
Baby just grab an inch
He says the grindin' wheel always gets the grease
Though the blade is bloody and dull
But your drum off flies with the greatest of ease
With a bible, candle, and skull, boys
Bible, candle and skull
B-B-B-Bible, candle and skull, boys
Bible, candle and skull
Equal parts floozy and flim-flam
She's the ugly one in her one-woman band
She says he ain't Mr. Right, but he's Mr. Right-Now
Yeah he's my presidential confidence man
He's kissin' hands and shaking babies
From Herkimer to Hades, with his third-place trophy bride
Plantin' seeds of deception like a kudzu weed
Just hold it out, drop it, and run for your life!
Well even a two-headed fetus outta have a good home
Not in the trunk where jumper cables belong
But that's just that kind of thing that'll set you off
Resist his bible, candle and skull, boys
Bible, candle and skull
B-B-B-Bible, candle and skull, boys
Bible, candle and skull
Well the candle's snuffed and there's nothing left
In the spotlight but bugs and bats
He took his one-drop rule complimentary mule
And a dirt road to Arkansas
To his hometown of Hope at last!