Remember the guy who solved all the crimes
But now things are different, a sign of the times
He used to be cool, ahead of the game
But now all his nights are the same
The k**er's gone free, the blackmailer's back
The butler just split with the j**els in a sack
So don't count on anyone saving your life
That man that we need is home with his wife
Dr. Haledjian got married, so don't even bother to call
Dr. Haledjian got married, now he won't leave his house at all
So if you need a helping hand
There's just one thing you gotta understand
Now that he's got a wedding band
Dr. H is a different man
The chamber maid's screaming, the Duchess is dead
The cook's in the kitchen, but missing a head
We need a hero, a superior mind
But Dr. H won't even pick up the line
Remember the painting that hung by the stairs
It's missing for days, but nobody cares
I don't think this madness is gonna end soon
Dr. H just left on his honeymoon