Christmas is here, where did the time go?
Got to load up the reindeer, put on my red suit and go
I use to like Christmas, but every year it gets worse
Gettin' gift to six billion people is just too much damn work
Got the Christmas blues, man this job is k**in' me
And most of these stupid new houses don't even have chimneys
I use to be jolly, now I'm depressed
Had a twinkle in my eye, now I've got a bullet proof vest
Cuz if the pace don't k** me, some gun totin' yahoo will
They keep on shootin' at me like I'm some sort of big fat red criminal
Got the Christmas blues, I'm starting to see
That I gotta be some sort of loser to get paid in milk and cookies
Man, I hate kids, especially their letters
Cuz I always give 'em some stuff, man, but they always say they want somethin' better
Well, maybe I'm getting cranky cuz I'm gettin' old
But I just feel like giving all them stupid little brats great big lumps of coal
I got the Christmas blues, man, enough's enough
Next year you can find some other s**er to deliver all this stuff
I got the Christmas blues, I tell you, I'm gonna quit
Gonna find me a steady job with good benefits
Ho ho ho? I don't think so!