Keeping your head on your body
Knowing the nose on your face
Knowing the reasons were naughty
Shaving the lane with much haste
I dug the texture but I didn't dig the taste
I speak the language but I cant recall the handshake
Felt kinda guilty cause it felt like such a waste
Don't trust a soul when all the mustaches are fake
Under the rocks is the water
Under the ground where its safe
Under the heat where its hotter
Holding the nose in its place
Tell a taller tale, happy pulling on the leg
Whistling Dixie til the 'stache got in the way
I bought it last time just to prove it was a fad
I only bought it this time cause the mustache was rad
Ugly like that
Kiss it on the lips
When the middle just sits
The hair was such a hit
And with a lip this fat
We can tickle all the bits
Cause with a 'stache this rad
The truth is gonna slip
Looking your best in the bottom
Filling your pants up with beans
Soaking them long like you oughta
Busting apart at the seams
They blame it on us even though it aint our fault
They say they're worthy but they're seldom with their salt
They only drive down if they think they know the deal
The birds were made of plastic but the mustache was real
Ugly like that
Kiss it on the lips
When the middle just sits
The hair was such a hit
And with a lip this fat
We can tickle all the bits
Cause with a 'stache this rad
The truth is gonna slip