Testing, one, two, three Well, well f**, huh, I mean, I just don't know what to say I'm very glad to be here with you tonight, able to talk to you about some things that I know a great deal about Everyone knows that you are f**ed up And everyone knows that I am f**ed up But, does everyone know that you are more f**ed up than me? Well, I know that and you know that But our purpose is to tell everyone that Take for instance, the time you went to the bathroom to take a shower You had soap, you had a towel, shampoo, washcloth, a brush, everything was set But you had to call me to come turn on the water for you You didn't know wh- how That is one instance of how f**ed up you are
A second instance of how f**ed up you are You was going to cook you some breakfast Well you went in there, and you put some toast in the toaster Put a sk**et on the stove, some grease in it and got you some eggs out, some bacon Poured you some orange juice and made you some coffee Got some jelly and some bu*ter Fried eggs, salt, pepper, got the bacon all ready Everything was fine except for one thing You had to call me in there to show you how to use a fork Now a third instance, the way you're f**ed up You got dressed, ready to go to school Everything was fine Got outside, got in your car, key in the ignition Except for one thing You had to call me to come show you