I guess I must be a f** up
Everyone saying i belong locked up
Cuz I smoke alot of pot and like to get f**ed up
I just wish all you haters would just Shut up!
Pick up a J. and lit up!
s**s to be you cuz i never learned how to Give up
It makes me pissed off when someone says "no one wants me I'm a geek, just write me off"
When in reality there the ones people should want to keep
I spit raps so others can relate and find the peace they seek
I know many won't like my raps cuz i rap so deep
I know how it feels when depression is at its peek
When you just wanna slit your wrist and let your blood leak
I know life can be tough
You're like and Diamond in the rough
And it hurts when your best isen't enough
Everyone always thinking your lame
As your try to convince yourself that there is nothing wrong with your brain
As you drown yourself away in all of this pain
Im not like the rest of you, we're not the same
I been pushed to the point I felt I was Insane
I didn't ask to be this smart
As all you try to tare me apart
Not realizing you're breaking my heart
To the point this rap sh** I wish it never did start
I'm never goin drop outta place
You can stay pissed cuz I'm hard to phase
My lyrics will be hard to chase
Cowards to scared to say there sh** to my face
Wishing I would already stop
But I'll never quit till the day I'm on top
I wish I could be like you, dumb
And say f** it, Go get drunk and have fun. Hop in a car and take the police for run
Then get shot to d**h cuz they thought they saw me with a gun
Or try to I hang my fata** in a jail cell
And the Media would be like "oh well..."
All I ever wanted was my life to go well
Instead I felt lost wondering in hell
So lost no one could even tell
(Can anyone hear me as I yell)
((whisper: please save me from this hell))
I been gone for so long, Am I even missed?
You say you love me and support me but is that why all you ever did was dis?
I tried to show everyone kindness
And when I did that's when I became real distant
Everyone around me always resistant
I chased my dreams like i was persistent
But everyone treating me like I'm someone to resent
I'm sick of living life as a peasant
No ever giving a f** about my 2 cents
Always scrounging for ever last cent
People telling me the only way for me to be saved is to repent
But i'm atheist. One of the craziest
So I guess i'm just hell bent
I don't know where the old me has gone and went
I'm sick of swimming in this endless abyss of loneliness & hatred-ness
I'm sick of taking all these anti-depressants
Always looking for everyone's acceptance
I'm Sick of bein taken for a fool
When i'm just trying to get myself outta this hole
I never calmed to cool
f** you idiots that took me for a fool
I just wanna bash your face in with a tool
Sorry im full of so much hate
Its why i'm trying to change my fate
And i'm doin great, i found my soul mate
She dont know it but she saved my life
Shes the reason i picked up a pen and dropped the knife
Its the reason I call this girl my wife
She saved me from the after life
She's helped me complete my life, Fix all the hatred in my brain
If it wasen't for you I wouldn't no longer remain
I love you always and forever Jenny Spain