This hotel room gotta lotta stuff A laundry bag and a shoe shine cloth Thirty two hangers and a touch tone phone With a light that goes on when I ain't home I ain't home I ain't home You better leave a message 'cause I ain't home They got an air conditioner for when I'm hot A radiator for when I'm not Two big chairs sittin' side by side With a holy bible and a TV Guide TV Guide TV Guide Great God Almighty It's a TV Guide They've gotta second story view from curb to curb A sign that says "Please Don't Disturb" A monogrammed towel and a bucket of ice A chest of drawers and a mirror that lies A mirror that lies A mirror that lies That can't be me And it's a mirror that lies They got a room service menu for food and drink
A porcelain throne and an aluminum sink Two big pillows to rest my head Magic Fingers on a king-size bed Plug in the cord and Turn out the light Magic Fingers make ya feel alright Feel alright Feel alright Magic Fingers make you feel alright This hotel here's all right with me And they pay the postage if you lose the key This hotel room's gotta lot of stuff But I do believe I've had enough I called my baby said don't you pout I'm packin' my bags and I'm checkin' out Just as soon as you hang up at the telephone Stick a candle in the window I'm comin' home I'm comin' home Comin' home Stick a candle in the window I'm comin' home Whoa comin' home Comin' home Stick a candle in the window I'm comin' home