I've got a clear cut case of tennis elbow,
And dancing through the green house made me pale so;
My amorous advances have been turning rather stale,
Oh!
Won't you be my Ruby?
-Say you love me tonight!
Boating on the Serpentine in winter;
Left my Plus-Fours feeling somewhat splintered,
But every complication leaves my desperate plans unhindered
Won't you be my poppet, say you'll marry me today!
Lately golf has lost it's old attractions,
And crooning in the coalshed makes me blue,
- That film inside the picture-house has
Vanquished all remaining doubts,
I could not love another;
Not even Marzo's mother!
Silver hairs are sprouting from my cranium,
Now cramp has stopped me mining for uranium;
I only want to prove your lips can drive me quite insanium.
-Won't you wear this ring and say you'll be my bride
My playboy blues will then be swept aside,
I'll never touch a tennis racket anymore.