The bittersweet bickering Getting old fast Aging a second past what was Running away from my problems Always my thing Walked away Hoping for them to staple their lips Closed my door Locked it tight Turned off all the lights Staring at everything that's not there Felt good being invisible While I blasted the lights and sounds To drown out the things I hate Never seems to work Knife never seems to care This captain does its duty Does what it's told And I wish thats the way everyone was But it'll always just be you And my knife Always carving 4 sticks into my skin And I suppose Your better than nothing And I could bear the rest of my life with you I don't wanna say your name Not a sound You can't You won't be heard Not on my watch The one I threw away for you These are the things my heart covers up You will not know that this song This song is you As long as no initials squeeze in Like 4 sticks is a hard one You'll be up all night on this one I've been up all night on this one Trying to be so inconspicuous As long as those letters of yours never show their faces That they don't have I'll be just fine And you won't feel any different... Than a second past what was I try to confuse you with this So you can't read between the lines I can't I won't give it all away I don't know if you're even worth it anymore It's something I'm working on And I'm working overtime I tried so hard To blame it on my parents But my... My shell cracks so easy And you know it You always know how well I hold up The amount of pills I'm supposed to take And where the right fill line is And just because I know you know Every little thing about me I know you know This song's about you You know who you are And maybe by the last line I won't say Who you really are But maybe The last line will be scribbled anyway I wonder if you'll be able to tell By such a bad ending Whether something's missing or not
But at least it's safe to say You'll never know for sure And that's good for me But not for you Why do I now care I can't say what just happened to me Let's just say a phone call had to do something with it A phone call made the call To write this song I'm sorry that I never knew what I had I'm sorry that you have to remind me I'm sorry that you'll never know how much you glow How much you light up a room And if I'm the only one who sees the light That's good enough for me I'm ok with never looking at another persons face It might not even be there Maybe it never was But sweetheart, it's fine I forgot what a parent was And if I never remember By self experience Sweetheart, it's fine I threw out that old knife stained red That you hated so much Cause you knew it would k** me It would k** us And that wasn't fair to you I'd never be ok with that It'll be ok if we never exchange rings As long as we exchange heat when it's cold As long as you hold on to me when drifting away in a crowd As long as I always cry when I write a line for you As long as you don't mind if I die for you... There's so many conditions That I need from you Conditions I don't want to be a problem Conditions like never needing a circle of metal on our fingers When things are as perfect as they are And they stay that way Until I die for you I swear that's how I'll go out It's not fair for you to live without me But that's somethin you gotta get used to I've already sworn on my life On the life that is already sworn to die Just for you I don't know who else it'd be Cause no one else exists I wonder what happened to the population But I don't ponder too much on it Just remember That I will jump if need be If it's an order Or a rescue I'm always ready for my heart to stop Just for you It's not fair to you But sweetheart, I promise...it'll be fine